Travels of the Trio Gundam Wing 2
by Akira Yai Hiro
Summary: Author: Kat Your three favourite authors fall into the wonderful world of Gundam Wing! While there they cause chaos, destruction. . .the usual.
1. The Insanity Begins! again

Meg screamed. "OH NO!!!!!! We're in another *beep*in' anime world!" She started crying very *very* loudly.  
  
Akkiko and Kat looked at each other. "YAY!!"  
  
Akkiko said, "Meg, you're so weird-you're the only person who doesn't like anime-why do we even hang out with you?"  
  
Meg blinked innocently. "Because I'm nice and sweet and-"  
  
"Insane?" Kat added.  
  
Meg glared, and rolled her eyes. "Hey, look up there in the sky!" She stared up.  
  
Kat followed her gaze. "Ooh, a shooting star . . ."  
  
"No, it's a falling star," Meg observed.  
  
"That's not a shooting star," Akkiko took off her glasses, cleaned them vigorously, and put them back on. Her eyes widened. "THAT'S A FRICKIN' MISSILE!"  
  
Meg's jaw dropped. "And it's coming our way!!"  
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" The three girls started running as the missile got closer. Suddenly everything switched to slow motion. The missile started to crash into the ground, and Meg, Kat and Akkiko leapt into a conveniently placed bomb shelter.  
  
The three girls panted. "Wh-why does this always happen to us?" Kat gasped.  
  
Suddenly Meg and Kat felt hands on their shoulders. Someone said "Boo!" and all three of them jumped into the air, their head colliding with the ceiling.  
  
"Damn low ceiling," Akkiko said as they crashed back down.  
  
They looked up at the person who had scared them. "Hey, I know that braid . . ." Meg said and stated drooling.  
  
Akkiko drew a paper fan out of her pocket and Kat raised an axe. "Duo- Maxwell-you-die-now!!" The two girls took a threatening step towards him. He scratched his head.  
  
"Um, do I know you?" he asked, completely oblivious to the fact that they were going to kill him in the most disturbing ways possible.  
  
Kat and Akkiko looked at each other and swore mentally. With very great reluctance they put down their weapons of destruction.  
  
"Who are you girls?" said a voice from the shadows. "How did you find your way here?" Akkiko sweatdropped as Wufei stepped from the shadows.  
  
Kat bit her lip. Akkiko stared at her. "What?"  
  
"I'm suppressing the desire to say 'Wuffles' right now," Kat whispered, and went off for a 'quiet moment'.  
  
Akkiko burst out laughing. Wufei went bright red. "Don't EVER call me that!" he said.  
  
"Wuffles!" Duo said. "How are ya?" He threw an arm around Wufei's shoulders. "Haven't seen ya for five minutes"  
  
Wufei closed his eyes and started muttering to himself, "I will not kill, I will not kill, I will not kill. . ."  
  
Akkiko murmured to Duo and Meg: "If you start murmuring to yourself, that's a sign you're going insane. This is a good thing." She went up to Wufei. "Hey, Wuffles, what up?"  
  
Wufei's eyes snapped open. "Screw not killing anything!" grabs katana and dives for Akkiko.  
  
"HELP!!" she screamed and ran off, unfortunately running smack into Trowa.  
  
Akkiko looked up and went all starry-eyed. "Oh no" Kat said. "She's going all girly."  
  
"Trowa!" Akkiko said, going all chibi and glomping onto him. Wufei continued to run up on her, sword raised.  
  
Akkiko looked behind herself. "EEP!" she said and dove behind Trowa. "Oh, please save me!" she said pleadingly. "I'm too young to die!" She cowered behind him.  
  
Duo grinned. "You're never too young to die," he said.  
  
Akkiko glared. "You're not helping!" she said, and continued to cower.  
  
Trowa sweatdropped. "Um . . . who are you?" he asked, very confused.  
  
The moment he asked this question, Kat and Meg gulped. Here it came . . .  
  
Akkiko looked at Trowa, and then grinned evilly. Stepping out behind him, she struck a manly pose. "I am Demonchild!" she proclaimed. "Lord of destruction!" Forks of lightening flashed behind her.  
  
Everyone sweatdropped. Kat sighed. "More like the Lord of insanity."  
  
"I heard that!" Akkiko said. Kat gulped and ran out of the bomb shelter while Akkiko smacked at her head with a paper fan.  
  
"BWAHAHA!" Akkiko said. "This is fun!!"  
  
Meg sighed, and snuggled up to Duo. "Hi, I'm Meg!" she said. Duo sweatdropped.  
  
"Uh . . . hi."  
  
Akkiko came back and sighed. "Yeah, Meg's always glomping onto guys," she said.  
  
"Where's your other friend?" Wufei asked (his sword mysteriously gone).  
  
Akkiko *tried* to look innocent *and failed miserably*. "Oh, she's . . . around,"  
  
Suddenly Kat's voice came from no where. "AKKIKO, HOW DARE YOU BURY ME IN THE GROUND!!"  
  
Everyone looked around, sweatdropping. Suddenly a wall of the bomb shelter started to shake. A moment later, Kat, holding a jackhammer, came out of the wall.  
  
"Where'd you get that?" Meg asked.  
  
Kat grinned. "Power tools are fun, remember? Especially portable ones." She looked over at Akkiko and grinned. "Weapons are fun, too." She threw the jackhammer aside, and reached behind her back.  
  
Akkiko gulped and ran away as Kat pulled an axe from behind her.  
  
"Where to they keep these things?" Duo whispered to Trowa. Trowa shrugged.  
  
"Do you really want to know?" he asked.  
  
Duo shrugged. "Not really, but I'd like to see them hide all those things in a bikini."  
  
Akkiko hopped by, and hid behind Duo. "That would actually be interesting,"  
  
Duo grinned. "Yeah, it would be interesting.  
  
Kat winced. "Akkiko, you have a perverted mind. Let's crack it open!"  
  
Akkiko ran over to Wufei and grabbed his katana from . . . somewhere, and ran back over to Kat, rising in above her head. "BRING IT ON!!!!!"  
  
Kat sweatdropped. "Oh, my God," she said. "Get better lines!" She threw the axe away and walked off.  
  
Akkiko stared, and, dropping the sword, sat on the ground. "Awww . . ." she said, pouting. "I need to do mass destruction to feel better." She thought for a moment, and a little light bulb appeared over her head.  
  
Meg sighed, and, once again, crushed it. "No more ideas, dammit!"  
  
Akkiko glared at her. "Will you stop that? I'm getting glass in my hair!" She thought for a moment. "Hey, Meg, you wanna play a game?"  
  
"Sure," Meg said, warily. "What game?"  
  
"Let's see how many people we can scar for life in the least amount of time." Akkiko looked around. Only three people. Damn. She walked up to Trowa.  
  
"BWAHAHA!! I am Akkiko, the Demonchild. I can scar people in my sleep!" She grabbed him and kissed him full on the mouth. The other two Gundam Pilots sweatdropped, and backed away, raising their guns. Trowa stared, and didn't move. Meg walked up to him.  
  
"I think he's gone into shock," she said, waving a hand in front of his face.  
  
"BWAHAHAHA!!" Akkiko grinned. "I haven't lost it! Three people in five seconds. Beat that, Meg!"  
  
Meg sighed. "Unfortunately, I cannot hope to beat your demonistic powers," she said. "You win."  
  
"Akkiko stared. "NOOOOOOOO!!!" she screamed. "It's no fun that way!"  
  
Meg shrugged. "At least you got to kiss Trowa."  
  
Akkiko thought and grinned. "Yeah, that's the good part about it."  
  
Suddenly there was a scream, and Kat ran past them. "I though I saw Zechs!" she yelled.  
  
Meg went white. "LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!" she yelled, and headed for the exit.  
  
Akkiko shrugged, grabbed a lighter out of her pocket and started flicking it open and closed.  
  
"HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM??!!" Meg screamed.  
  
Akkiko shrugged. Duo stared at the lighter. "Are you a smoker?" He asked.  
  
"No," Akkiko said. "It's just handy for when you light fires."  
  
"Ooh," Kat said. "That's almost as good as blowing things up!"  
  
Akkiko looked at her, annoyed. "Aren't you supposed to be screaming in terror?"  
  
Meg went white, and ran out of the bomb shelter, screaming "Save me from the insane maniac!"  
  
Duo sweatdropped. "Is she always that insane?" he asked.  
  
"No, some days-it's worse!" Kat said brightly.  
  
Suddenly Meg came back, screaming continually. Lightening flashed; outside it had started to rain.  
  
Meg dived behind Akkiko. "SAVE ME!" she screamed.  
  
Akkiko turned to look behind her, annoyed. "THINK about who you're crouching behind, Meg!" she said.  
  
Meg thought, and blanched, and went to cower behind Duo. "SAVE ME FROM BOTH OF THEM!!" she screamed.  
  
Duo shrugged. "I'm the God of Death, remember?"  
  
Meg sweatdropped. "Is there anyone SANE in this room?" she asked, getting up. Everyone shook their heads. She thought again. "Is there any one SEMI- SANE in this room?"  
  
Kat stuck her hand in the air. "ME!"  
  
Meg shrugged. "That'll work," she said, and dove behind Kat, continuing to scream and be pathetic.  
  
A figure suddenly filled the doorway, his shadow falling on the floor ominously. Water ran off the huge trench coat he was clad in. Lightening forked across the sky, obscuring his face. Music came from somewhere: Dum dum DDUUUUUMMMMM!!  
  
"Akkiko!" Kat said, annoyed. "Will you turn off that recorder?"  
  
Akkiko grinned and shrugged. "Sorry, but the moment called for it," she said, and rewound the recorder, and played the cheesy organ music again: Dum dum DUUUUMMMMM!!  
  
Kat sweatdropped and raised an axe. Grabbing the recorder, she flung it to the ground and proceeded to smash it. "Die evil organ music!!" she yelled.  
  
Meg sweatdropped. "And I was hiding behind you-why?" she sighed, and dove behind Trowa. "You'll do."  
  
Akkiko went red. "HE'S MINE, MEG!" she yelled. "Don't get any ideas!"  
  
Meg stuck her tongue out at her and continued to cower. "SAVE ME FROM ZECHS!!" She screamed. The figure in the doorway stepped forward.  
  
"Is Zechs here? Where is that baka?" The hood of the trench coat fell back, revealing . . . Heero Yuy.  
  
Kat stopped smashing the recorder and hid the axe behind her back, looking everywhere but at Heero. She was NOT going to go all ditzy, no WAY!  
  
Heero's eyes narrowed. "Who are these girls?" he asked.  
  
Duo shrugged. "I have no idea, but they know Wufei's nickname." He grinned over at Wufei. "Wuffles!"  
  
Heero sweatdropped. "O . . . kay." He took off the trench coat, revealing a green tank top and black spandex shorts. Kat blushed even more.  
  
Akkiko stepped up to Heero. "HI, Yuy! I'm Akkiko, the pathetic fangirl cowering behind MY Trowa is Meg, and the chick with the axe over there is Kat."  
  
Kat stuck up two fingers in a mock-salute, looking at the ground. Heero stared. "What's with her?" he asked.  
  
Akkiko rolled her eyes. "She's trying to disguise the fact that she has a crush on you-AAHHHH!!" Akkiko broke off as Kat dived at her with an axe.  
  
"You die, DEMON!" Kat screeched, and proceeded to chase Akkiko around the bomb shelter. Meg came out from behind Trowa and sweatdropped.  
  
"Oh, here we go," she said, and started to file her nails.  
  
"Are they always like this?" Duo asked.  
  
"Oh, some days they're worse," Meg said. "I'm lucky to have kept my sanity."  
  
Kat stopped by her; Akkiko continued running. "Ha-you have no sanity, Meg- I'm the person with the most sanity in the group-except when certain demonchildren PISS ME OFF!!" She ran off after Akkiko again, axe raised.  
  
Heero sweatdropped. "Who ARE you?" he asked, looking slightly scarred.  
  
Akkiko ran past him, Kat hot on her heels. She smiled. "We're the Smurfketeers! Smurf power!!!" Kat continued to chase after, even madder *if that is humanly possible*  
  
She screamed. "I AM NOT A SMURFKETEER!!"  
  
"Whatever Katsup!" Akkiko called behind her.  
  
Kat stopped, and once again, little horns sprouted on her forehead. Akkiko grinned, having gotten the desired effect. "You're almost as bad as Wuffles over there!"  
  
Wufei scowled, and grabbed his katana again out of nowhere. He screamed. "You die weak kisamaa!" And he proceeded to chase after the demonchild, sword raised. Kat was behind him, swinging her axe, little bat-wings sprouting from behind her back.  
  
Akkiko yelled at Kat, who was now in full rage, "Stop stealing my demon- mode, you copycat!" She was rounding a corner somewhere in the bomb shelter, when Kat drew a knife *once again, seemingly from nowhere* and flung it at Akkiko. It shot past her face, clipping off some of her bangs. Akkiko gulped.  
  
"O-kay . . . . I am officially screwed," she said, and started running again. "SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!"  
  
Meg looked away, Duo whistled. Heero polished his gun and Trowa pulled out a book and started to read it. Akkiko sweatdropped. "I THOUGHT YOU PEOPLE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE PACIFISTS!"  
  
Duo nodded. "We are-we don't fight, that's all."  
  
Akkiko sighed. "Damn."  
  
Suddenly there was an explosion just outside the bomb shelter.  
  
"Dammit!" Heero said, and started down a hallway. "Wufei, stop trying to kill the half-pint and get over here!"  
  
Wufei let his sword drop. "Damn," he said, and threw a scowl in Akkiko's general direction. "I'd better not find you down a dark alley alone."  
  
Kat sighed. Her demon-mode had faded. Something had turned Akkiko into demon-mode. Horns sprouted on her forehead as well as wings on her back. Her eyes were red and slitted.  
  
"Akkiko?" Kat asked hesitantly.  
  
"I . . . am not . . . a HALF-PINT!" Akkiko growled, and started to fling herself in the direction Heero had gone. "DIE!!"  
  
***  
  
Heero was working on some sort of machine. Wufei was behind him. Suddenly lightening flashed around him. "Why is there lightening in the bomb shelter?" he asked.  
  
Wufei turned and looked at the door. "Eep," he said in a small voice. Heero raised an eyebrow and turned to look at Wufei.  
  
"What?" he asked. Wufei slowly raised a trembling finger. Heero raised his other eyebrow, and looked over at the doorway.  
  
Screechy music came from a recorder. At one time, it may have been 'Dum dum DUUM!!' But thanks to Kat's axe it sounded even more horrible and scary. Heero stared. There was a dark figure in the doorway which, coincidently had glowing red eyes. The two boys sweatdropped.  
  
"Who . . . or what is that?" Heero asked.  
  
Wufei stared. "Do you really want to know?"  
  
Heero shook his head vigorously. Too late. The figure stepped into the light.  
  
"Heero Yuy!" said a booming voice. Heero shrunk back. Could it be that the perfect soldier was afraid? My God, the world really is coming to an end . . .  
  
Akkiko grinned; it was not a happy grin. "Now it's time to show you why I'm called 'Demonchild.'"  
  
Upstairs, Meg and Kat were talking, ignoring the fact that Heero might be dead right now. Suddenly Wufei came up the stairs, screaming bloody murder. Duo and Trowa stared at him.  
  
"Hey, Wuffles, what's the matter?" Duo asked.  
  
Wufei glared at him. "I will ignore that stupid name for the moment, but later-you DIE!! Right now, there's an evil demon trying to kill HEERO!"  
  
Kat shook her head. "That's not an evil demon-that's just Akkiko."  
  
Meg nodded. "Yeah, and she's not that evil at the moment-she's just on level two. Wait until she hits level ten. God willing, you'll never see that."  
  
Duo stared. "You LEVEL your demons?"  
  
Kat nodded. "What you saw before was me at level four."  
  
Meg nodded again. "I think the highest level I've ever been pushed to is level four as well . . . Hmmm."  
  
Suddenly there was an earth-shattering explosion. Akkiko walked up the stairs. "Correction-it was not earth-shattering-it was Heero-Yuy- shattering!"  
  
Duo sweatdropped, and then walked over to the stairs. "Hey, Heero, are you alive down there?"  
  
A moan reached his ears. Then, a yell of, "You stupid BAKA-MONO! Does it LOOK like I'm alive?"  
  
Duo looked away. "He's okay."  
  
Akkiko grinned. "Of course he is. I just maimed one leg and scarred him for life."  
  
Trowa suddenly began spitting at the ground and wiping his mouth. "And I actually KISSED that thing?"  
  
Akkiko grinned. "Fun isn't it."  
  
Kat rubbed her hands together. "Oh yes-creating chaos and carnage is always fun!" Meg nodded in agreement.  
  
The Gundam pilots stared at each other. "They CANNOT be human!"  
  
Suddenly, once more, an ominous figure stood in the doorway. Kat stared. She saw a piece of blond hair and shrieked, thinking it was Zechs.  
  
"SAVE ME!" she screamed, and jumped into Duo's arms.  
  
Duo stared at her. "Um . . . no."  
  
Kat slid to the ground. "I'll kill you later; right now I have to hide! There's a crazed bounty hunter who would, if he got the chance, put my hide on his wall." She ran behind Akkiko.  
  
"WHY does everyone keep hiding behind ME!?" she yelled. "I am the evil demonchild, remember?" Kat shrugged.  
  
"Well, because you ARE the evil demonchild, wouldn't that make you scarier to the bad guys, and therefore, less likely to be attacked?"  
  
Akkiko looked thoughtful. Meg burst out laughing. "No, she won't be attacked-except by a horde of insane fangirls."  
  
Akkiko glared. "You DIE!" and dove at Meg. Kat sighed, being once being uncovered.  
  
"I am going to die," she said dully and started drawing on the floor with her finger.  
  
The figure in the doorway stepped forward. Once again, screechy organ music played: DUM DUM DUUUUMM!!  
  
Everyone sweatdropped. Wufei said. "Would someone shut that thing up?"  
  
Kat grabbed it from Akkiko. "No problem!" she said. "I have to get rid of excess anger." Taking the axe from behind her, began smashing it happily. "DIE EVIL RECORDER!!"  
  
That done, she turned around to the Zechs-like figure. Kat shrieked again. "I'm GONNA DIE!"  
  
The figure took off his hood. Akkiko stared. "You're going to die from THAT?"  
  
Quatre glared at her. "What's THAT supposed to mean?"  
  
Kat whispered in Akkiko's ear. "Yeah, but doesn't he go insane sometime during the series?"  
  
Akkiko stared. "SHIT."  
  
Meg sighed. "What is it with everyone wearing dark and ominous clothes today?"  
  
Kat grinned. "Oh, but it fun to look like a psychopath-murderer person!'  
  
Akkiko nodded. "OH, have you ever tried walking into a kindergarten class with a WHIP before?"  
  
Kat and Meg stared at her. "You WHAT??"  
  
Akkiko grinned. "Yeah, and for some reason, they began panicking and locking the doors and windows.  
  
Kat rolled her eyes. "I wonder why . . ."  
  
Akkiko nodded. "Yes, why?"  
  
Suddenly black and creeping crawled up the stairs. Meg screamed. "It's the things from the swamp!"  
  
Duo backed away. "IT'S GONNA EAT ME!!"  
  
Two little white holes, which were actually eyes staring through the ashes, glared. "It's me, you idiots."  
  
Akkiko grinned. "Hey, it's Heero Yuy . . . or at least what's left of him . . ."  
  
Quatre stared. "You did that to a guy who can survive jumping off a cliff? Hmmm . . . Little girls are getting scrappier.  
  
All three of the girls stared at him, and proceeded into a full-blown demon mode. "We are NOT little girls," they said, and held up their talons.  
  
Heero sweatdropped. "Um, Quatre, if one of them could do this to me, what do you think THREE can do to you?"  
  
Quatre sweatdropped, and started to back away, then ran from the bomb shelter screaming. The three girls chased after him, staying in demon-mode.  
  
Trowa stared after them. "I feel so sorry for that guy."  
  
Duo shrugged. "OH well, even when they're mad, they are pretty cute."  
  
Meg ran back down into the bomb shelter. "I heard that-you're so nice!" she hugged him and then ran back out, screaming, "You DIE Quatre!"  
  
Trowa sweatdropped. "And when they're mad, they're freaky, too."  
  
Akkiko ran back into the bomb shelter. "I heard that! You're so nice!" She tried to hug him, but he ran away, screaming. Akkiko shrugged, and ran out of the bomb shelter, screaming. "Save some for me!!"  
  
Heero, who was cleaning himself off, sweatdropped. "Okay," he said. "Three teenage girls with schizophrenia . . . sounds like my like girl."  
  
Kat ran back into the bomb shelter. "It heard that," she said, and kissed him on the cheek. "You're so nice!"  
  
Two shouts could be heard form outside. "HOW COME YOU GET TO KISS YOUR GUY!?"  
  
Kat shrugged. "Because I'm the player of the group."  
  
Silence. Then, suddenly, burst of laughter. "You, the player of group?" Akkiko gasped. Meg was laughing so hard, she couldn't even speak.  
  
Kat scowled, and proceeded to Level Five of her Demon-Mode.  
  
Akkiko grinned. "Wow . . . we pushed her to Level Five . . . I always thought it would be that Erikson guy."  
  
Meg shrugged. "I thought it would be Brad."  
  
Akkiko stopped laughing abruptly. "Waitaminute-we pushed Kat to Level Five of Demonmode." They stared at each other and screamed. "HELP US!!" And proceeded to run away.  
  
Kat grinned, rubbing her paws together. "Ooh, fresh blood," she said, and ran after them, growling happily.  
  
Wufei raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, they're nice enough, but how did they get here?"  
  
Another ash-covered figure stumbled into the bomb shelter. "I don't know," Quatre said. "But they're certainly weird. After they finished scarring me for life, Kat and Meg kissed me on the cheek and ran off."  
  
Question marks appeared over the others heads. "Hey, how come the cute girls don't kiss me?" Duo asked. Kat bounced in and grabbed him, kissing him full on the mouth.  
  
She winked as she let go, and Duo melted to the floor. "I TOLD you I was a player!" she said, grinning. Meg ran in.  
  
"He's MINE!" she screamed, and started to throw herself at Kat.  
  
Kat sweatdropped. "Uh, Meg, I'm in Demon-mode Level Five."  
  
Meg stopped in midair. "Shite," she muttered, and ran back out the door screaming. Kat followed, purring. "I love creating chaos! I am the DEMONGIRL!"  
  
There was another explosion outside, and Akkiko and Meg stumbled in, their hair glowing and their faces all black.  
  
Meg coughed. "Who keeps on dropping the *beep*in bombs?"  
  
Akkiko wiped at her face. "Got me . . ."  
  
Heero swore again. "Come one, guys," he said. "We have to get to our Gundams."  
  
The five boys started off, but were stopped by the three girls. "You ARE NOT going ANYWHERE without us," Kat said, holding up a hand.  
  
Wufei frowned. "We don't have any room in our Gundams for weak women like you."  
  
Akkiko stepped forward and grabbed the front of his shirt, dragging him down to her level. "I DARE you to say that again," she growled, and pushed him away. He fell on his butt, sweatdropping.  
  
Heero sighed. "Okay, so they can come with us." The roof of the bomb shelter creaked as another missile hit it.  
  
"Yeah, this place sure isn't going to hold up for long," Duo said.  
  
Meg jumped into his arms. "I dibs going in the DarkScythe!" she grinned.  
  
Kat and Akkiko sweatdropped. "It's Deathscythe Hell, Meg."  
  
Meg glared. "Whatever!"  
  
"No," Trowa said. "If you girls are going to tag along, you'll do what WE tell you."  
  
Duo dropped Meg on the floor; the three girls sweatdropped at Trowa's tone.  
  
"Do you understand?" he said.  
  
There were three nods. He smiled a bit. "Okay," he said.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, or Akkiko or Meg. I own only myself and do not obtain any money from these stories. *But, just for the record- HEERO MINE!!* 


	2. The Little Red Button

Meg, Kat and Akkiko all stared, sweatdropping. "You've got to be kidding," Kat said.  
  
Trowa grinned. "Nope, this is revenge for that kiss."  
  
Meg and Kat turned on Akkiko. "You STUPID DEMON!! Look what you've done!!"  
  
Akkiko sighed. "Whatever . . ." she muttered.  
  
Akkiko walked over to the Trowa's Gundam and grabbed onto the line that hoisted them up. Once there, she let go of the rope and started scaling the Gundam. Reaching the top, she climbed over the top of the head and sat between the prongs. Yelling down to the others, "It's a good thing I'm not afraid of heights. . . MUCH!!" She clung to the middle prong. "My God, why did I agree to this?"  
  
Kat looked at Meg, Meg looked at Kat; they both looked up at Akkiko, and then back at each other. Suddenly they clasped each other in a huge hug. "If I die, I'll see you in the next world!" they said, little tears dropping from their eyes.  
  
They let go of each other, and Meg went off to Duo's Gundam, Kat went off to Heero's. Akkiko watched then from atop Trowa's Gundam. "HOW COME I DIDN'T GET A HUG?????"  
  
Kat looked up and grinned. "Because you're a demon, and can't handle such sweetness."  
  
Akkiko looked thoughtful. "Oh yeah." She said, and continued clinging wildly. Meanwhile, Meg was having . . . a little trouble.  
  
"HALP!" She screamed. She had reached the head, but had slid off, and was now clinging to the wing. "I'm gonna die!!!"  
  
Quatre sighed, and reached the hand of his Gundam out to catch Meg. He put her on top of Deathscythe's head. "Imagine how this must look." He sighed. "Two huge giant machines of ultimate destruction helping one little puny girl."  
  
Meg glared over at Sandrock. "SHADDAP!" she said, and made herself comfortable.  
  
Kat in the meantime had already settled herself on top of Heero's Gundam. All the pilots sighed in unison. What the hell had they gotten themselves into?  
  
Kat grinned. "OH, you have no idea . . ." she said.  
  
The pilots sweatdropped. They could read minds, too?  
  
"Oh, yeah!" Meg said.  
  
Akkiko laughed maniacally. "Wait until you see what we can do to the other guys."  
  
The GW boys sighed. "Good lord, this is going to be a battle to remember." The rest of them climbed into their Gundams.  
  
"Don't go to fast!' Akkiko yelled. "If you drop me I will severely maim you in the next world!!"  
  
Trowa sweatdropped. "Yeah, I'll try to avoid that," he said, and suddenly the Gundams were off.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Meg screamed, and looked over at Kat and Akkiko, who were laughing loudly, saying "WHEEE! Go faster-go faster!!"  
  
Meg stared. "HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM?" she screamed . . . again.  
  
Akkiko shrugged. "I'm a demon, remember? Not everything is in my head."  
  
"And I like speeding!" Kat grinned. "Remember THAT conversation?"  
  
Meg winced. "I think I'm gonna be sick!"  
  
"Hey, hey!" Duo shouted up at her. "If you're going to be sick, do it when we land!"  
  
Meg glared down at him. "I don't think I can keep it in that long!"  
  
"Tough!" Duo said. 'If you're sick now, I'll knock you off with my Scythe."  
  
Meg rolled her eyes. "Oooh . . . I'm REALLY scared." She said sarcastically.  
  
***  
  
"Oh, dear-watch out for the one behind you!" Kat screamed.  
  
"Thanks!" Heero yelled, and took out the MD that was behind him.  
  
Trowa was suddenly hit by a missile. Akkiko glared. "You BASTARDS! You hit Trowa!" Suddenly she went into demon-mode (A/N: Let me know when you get tired of that!) Little cat ears and horns sprouted up on her brow. Her eyes became slitted and a tail whipped behind her. Bat wings sprouted on her back. She stood up slowly and glared again, red eyes flashing.  
  
"Oh shit!" Kat said. "We're gonna die!"  
  
Akkiko took off. Suddenly the MD went up in flames. Akkiko cackled. "BWAHAHA! I am Akkiko! I rule ALL! FEAR ME!!"  
  
Kat grinned. "Okay, maybe WE'RE not gonna die . . ."  
  
Trowa sweatdropped. "Well, I'll admit they're useful-but they still freak me out . . ."  
  
Akkiko whizzed by his Gundam. "Thank you!" She said in salute, and then flew off to roast more Mobile Suites  
  
Five thousand miles away, a private turned to Treize. "Sir, he said. "We appear to be losing to a flying bat-girl . . . thingy . . ."  
  
Treize raised an eyebrow. "Really? Can you show me this?"  
  
The private clicked a button and the screen suddenly was filled with battle images. There was, indeed, a winged-girl flitting about, destroying the MD.  
  
"BWAHAHA!" Akkiko screamed. "I am the God of Destruction! FEAR ME!!"  
  
Treize raised another eyebrow. "Who . . . or what is that?" he said.  
  
The private clicked another button. On the battlefield, a voice suddenly rang out form one of the suits. "Little demon thingy-who . . . or what are you?"  
  
Kat and Meg grinned. "Oh dear lord . . . here it comes . . . again!"  
  
Akkiko smiled and flew into the air, landing on Trowa's Gundam and striking a manly pose. "I am Akkiko the Demonchild! I am the Lord of Destruction!" Forks of lightening suddenly flashed behind her.  
  
Kat stood up on Heero's Gundam. "And I am Kat, the . . . were-Kat! I am the Queen of Chaos!!" Thunder rolled in the clouds.  
  
Meg stood up on Deathscythe. "And I am MEG! The . . . . er-never mind!"  
  
Akkiko and Kat looked at her. "What kind of introduction is that?"  
  
Meg shrugged. "Can I help it if I don't have any interesting nicknames?"  
  
Akkiko sighed. "You are Lily-among-the-thorns! You can say . . . you're the DRAMA QUEEN, or the SORCERESS!"  
  
Meg's face suddenly lit up. "I am MEG! The Army-Brat! Sorceress of Darkness!!"  
  
Treize and everyone else sweatdropped. Akkiko looked up and grinned. "We are the Smurfketeers! Smurf power!!"  
  
Kat frowned. "We are not smurfketeers." She said. Meg nodded.  
  
Akkiko pouted. "Yes we are! Of course we are!" The three girls proceeded to argue.  
  
The private stared and whispered through the intercom to the Gundam pilots, "And you're with them?"  
  
The GW boys shook their head wildly. "NOO!!"  
  
Akkiko stared. "But Wuffles! Come on-you like me, don't you?"  
  
Treize snickered. "Wuffles?"  
  
Wufei turned red and glared in Akkiko's direction. He muttered something in Chinese.  
  
"What was that?" Akkiko yelled.  
  
"I . . . am . . . going . . . to . . . kill . . . you . . . later . . ." Wufei said slowly.  
  
Akkiko grinned. "Okay!!"  
  
Kat grinned. "Death is fun!!" Suddenly she sprouted black angel wings and her ears turned cat-like. Her eyes became all glowing green and slitted. "Hey, Akkiko!" She yelled. "Save some for me!" She jumped off Wing-Zero to join the fun!  
  
Meg sighed. "Now I can't do anything until someone pisses ME off," she sat down on Deathscythe's head, and pouted.  
  
Akkiko flew over. "Hmmm . . ." she said, thinking *yes, Akkiko is actually thinking. God help us all* She snapped her fingers. "Hey, Kat!" she called. "Do you remember in Endless Waltz when Duo was hurt by OZ?"  
  
Meg suddenly looked dup and glared. "WHAT?"  
  
The private turned to Treize. "Uh, sir . . . I think we're screwed . . ."  
  
Meg pushed off Deathscythe's head, horns on her forehead, and a little devil's tail whipping around behind her. She was supported in the air by a glowing black aura.  
  
The private turned back to Treize again. "Yep, we're officially screwed."  
  
Treize sweatdropped. "Like I didn't know." He thought for a moment, and the three girls continued to wreck destruction on the MD. The GW boys stared dumbfounded, not even fighting anymore. Their sweatdrops grew bigger by the second.  
  
Only thirty seconds later, all the MDs were in crumpled heaps. Meg, Kat and Akkiko slapped hands and danced around. "Oh yes! New record! Sixty destroyed in less than a minute! BWAHAHA!!"  
  
The private stared at Treize. "Should I send out more MDs?"  
  
Treize sweatdropped again. "Is there anything that there that can destroy those . . . um . . . thingies?"  
  
Kat yelled through the intercom. "We're young ladies!"  
  
Akkiko glared. "I am not a lady!"  
  
Kat shrugged. "Neither am I, but hey, what the heck?"  
  
Akkiko sighed and continued to burn the already crumpled MD heaps.  
  
The private turned to Treize. "Sir, if we don't do something, they're going to find the base and DESTROY US!!"  
  
Meg stared off into the distance. "Hey, look over there!" she sad, pointing. "Doesn't that look like some sort of military headquarters?"  
  
Heero stared. "How can you tell?"  
  
The three girls stared up at his Gundam. "HELLOO!! ARMY-BRAT!!"  
  
Quatre checked it out, clicking a few buttons. "Yep, that's Treize's headquarters." He confirmed.  
  
Everyone in the room sweatdropped. "Shit!"  
  
Treize sighed, and got up. "Okay, private-call in the BIG GUNS!!"  
  
The private went completely white. "Y-you don't mean . . ."  
  
Treize nodded. "Oh, yeah!"  
  
The private went over to a wall and picked up a phone. A sign on the wall beside it read: "Do not use this phone unless completely necessary! Even then, do not use this phone if you at all value your life! This is your last warning! DO NOT pick it up . . . You picked it up, didn't you? Well, congratulations-you're completely screwed. Enjoy the end of the world!"  
  
The private waited as the phone rang. A raspy voice talked into it. "What?"  
  
***  
  
Kat, Meg, Akkiko, and the other GW boys raced towards the headquarters. Suddenly the ground shook, and something sprouted out of it.  
  
Meg shrieked. "It's a ghost! It came out of the ground!"  
  
The others sighed. "No, Meg, it just cam out of an underground base. Some army-brat . . ."  
  
Meg turned to glare. "SHADDUP!"  
  
Suddenly a raspy voice issued from the new-comer. "Well, if it isn't the school-skipping brats!"  
  
Kat blanched. "IT'S ZECHS!!!!" she screamed, and flew behind Heero's Gundam.  
  
Meg was halfway to Duo's when Akkiko stopped her. "You're going to go and HIDE?" she demanded.  
  
Meg thought for a moment, and then nodded furiously. "YEAH!!" She flew off.  
  
Akkiko sighed. Now she was going to have to deal with the raspy-voiced crazed maniac all by herself. She grinned. This could be FUN!!  
  
Turning around, she faced Zechs in his rather LARGE suit. Zechs stared. "Hey, you're that Anti-Heero Club member."  
  
Akkiko blanched. Heero turned on her. "WHAT?"  
  
Akkiko mumbled. "Well . . . you see . . . I, um, had to make up this little lie . . ."  
  
Kat peeked her head out. "Yeah, to save ME!!"  
  
Akkiko sighed. Zechs continued. "So, have you dyed his clothes pink yet?"  
  
Akkiko moaned. Heero turned on her again. "Wufei, when you decide to kill her, call me-I'll gladly help."  
  
Akkiko sighed and turned back to Zechs. "Thanks a lot, you raspy-voiced idiot!!!"  
  
Zechs scowled. "Do not . . . make fun of . . . the voice!" He hefted his humongous buster rifle in to the air, turning it towards Akkiko.  
  
Akkiko sighed. "Man . . . What is with guys and guns? Is it just me?" She flew right toward Zechs, and once she was beside the buster rifle, she touched . . . very, very gently. It blew up, the Mobile Suit along with it.  
  
"She ain't human!" Duo said, pulling on his braid. "She just ain't HUMAN!"  
  
"No shit, Sherlock!" Meg yelled.  
  
Zechs was on the ground, coughing. His hair was glowing a bit at the edges, and his face and clothes all over it. He sighed. "Why does this always happen to me?"  
  
Akkiko flew down to him. "Because you're special!!" She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. He blanched, and ran away screaming.  
  
The private turned to Trieze . . . again. "Sir, it seems that Mr. Marquise has failed."  
  
"DAMMIT!" Treize said, and got out of his chair. "Abandon the headquarters before they get here!" He started for the door. When he was five feet away from it, it opened, to reveal Meg, Kat and Akkiko, who had reverted back to 'normal' mode. Behind them were the Gundam pilots.  
  
Treize sweatdropped. "Oh . . . shite." He raised his hands in surrender.  
  
"BWAHAHA!" Akkiko said. "We have defeated you!!"  
  
Duo stared at Heero. "Man, that's the fastest takedown of OZ we've ever done!"  
  
Heero nodded. "Thanks, girls," he said, and moved in, holding up his gun. He pointed it at Treize. "You move, and I shoot where it hurts."  
  
Trieze went white. "Not moving!"  
  
Akkiko ran over to the consol by the private. "Ooh . . . pretty buttons!"  
  
The private sweatdropped. "Okay, I know I can't kill you, or do anything to maim you, so you are free to push whatever button you want!" He grinned maniacally. "But you see that little red button? Do not push the little red button." *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*  
  
Akkiko grinned back at him, her finger hovering above *you guessed it* the little red button. Kat and Meg stared. "AKKIKO-NOOOO!!!" Meg started running towards her *everything turns slow-mo* Akkiko's finger goes closer to the button, and when Meg is almost ready to tackle her, Akkiko pulls her hand away.  
  
"Psyche!" she said, grinning. Unfortunately, Meg's tackle carried her too far, and her hand landed on the consol, pushing *oh, yes* the little red button.  
  
Everyone sweatdropped. "EVACUATE!!" the private yelled. Everyone got up out of their chairs and proceeded to the aircraft hanger. Even Treize ran, though Heero had threatened him. Red lights and sirens went off, along with a robotic voice saying "X minus ten minutes before detonation of headquarters."  
  
Now the only people left were Kat, Meg, Akkiko and the GW boys.  
  
"What do we do? What do we do??" Duo screamed, running around.  
  
"Meg, why did you choose the pilot that is the most annoying?" Akkiko asked. "And why are you so *beep*in' clumsy??"  
  
Meg blushed. "I guess it's too late to say 'oops'."  
  
Kat rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah." She went over to the consol, and wrenched off a metal panel below it. There were a mass of wires. She pulled a few of them out to stare, and then reached into her pocket. She brought out a little pair of pliers. "Everyone hang on to your butts!" She said, and pulled a little red wire out between her fingers. "I am a trained professional . . . not!"  
  
Akkiko leaped away and hid behind Heero. "Yeah, and the last time she tried to defuse a bomb, she ended up in Tibet!"  
  
"Did not!" Kat screeched. "It was Czechoslovakia!" (A/N: For those of you who are not too intellectual, Czechoslovakia is a country beside Russia that has now been split into two separate countries, the Czech Republic and Slovakia. But I really like saying Czechoslovakia for some reason, soooo . . . Now, then, that is the geography lesson for today, let's get back to our usually mayhem!) Kat took the pliers and put them around the red wire. Squeezing her eyes shut, she prayed.  
  
Everyone else stared at her, then at each other, and then ducked behind Treize's chair *It was . . . a little cramped*  
  
"Heero, you're on my head!" Akkiko screeched.  
  
Kat, startled by the yell, accidentally clipped the blue wire. "Oops . . ." she said. The headquarters proceeded to blow up.  
  
"Oh, crap!" everyone said, and hid behind the chair. For some reason, they were all okay. The chair had protected him. Duo, however, continued to run about, screaming "My braid is on fire! My braid is on fire!"  
  
A stumbling pile of ashes made its way towards them. "Another mission, perfectly executed!" Kat said.  
  
Everyone glared. "PERFECTLY??"  
  
Kat shrugged, and rubbed ashes off her face. "Well . . . almost perfectly."  
  
"Here, have a hanky," Heero said, sweatdropping. *Duo ran around in the background, still freaking out*  
  
Kat sighed. "Oh, come here, you big baby!" she said, and put Duo in a hammerlock. She licked her fingers and squeezed on the end of his braid, extinguishing the flame. *Which was barely a centimetre tall*  
  
Duo collapsed, and then popped up again. "THANK YOU THANKYOU THANK YOU!!" He said, bowing over Kat's hands. "You saved the braid!"  
  
Kat sweatdropped. "Um . . . you're welcome." Meg came up behind her and pushed her away.  
  
"HE'S MINE!" she said, and glomped onto him . . . again.  
  
Duo sweatdropped. "Uh . . . HELP!!" he screamed, and ran away.  
  
Meg ran after him. "Duo, my beloved! Come back!"  
  
Trowa stared after. "And I thought I had the bad one!"  
  
Akkiko glomped onto him. "Hello, my shnuggie-poo!" Trowa peeled her off and ran after Duo, screaming. Akkiko was about to follow when her cell phone rang. She beeped it on and spoke into it. "Hello?" An indistinguishable voice spoke on the other end. "Oh, hello, Dracee! How are you? Oh, wait, the other line is busy." She beeping another button and spoke into the phone. "OH, hey, Seto, what's up?"  
  
Trowa peeked from behind a smouldering desk. "Who's Dracee? And who's Seto?" he asked, confused.  
  
Kat sighed. "Her OTHER boyfriends."  
  
"Other boyfriends?" the others demanded.  
  
Kat shrugged.  
  
Going back to Akkiko's conversation. "Oh, I'm doing fine, Seto. Oh, hang on. The other line's busy. Can I call you back?" She pushed yet another button and held the receiver to her ear again. "Hello? OH-hi, Riku!"  
  
The others sweatdropped. "And . . . How many boyfriends does she have?" Quatre asked, bemused.  
  
"Hmm, let's see." Akkiko stared counting on her fingers.  
  
***  
  
(Ten minutes later)  
  
Akkiko was STILL counting on her fingers. Heero and Kat were sitting on the floor, playing Go Fish with some cards that had also magically survived the explosion. Wufei was swinging his practice sword around and Quatre was reading a book. Meg and Duo were still running . . . somewhere, and Trowa was still hiding from Akkiko.  
  
***  
  
(ANOTHER ten minutes later.)  
  
Akkiko ended the boyfriend-count at 165. Wufei and Quatre had joined Kat and Heero and the four of them were now playing Strip Poker. Kat, of course was winning.  
  
"Okay," she said, rubbing her hands together malevolently. "Who's next?"  
  
Towa had fallen asleep at his hiding place, and Meg and Duo were still off somewhere . . . No one wanted to know.  
  
Akkiko looked around. "HEY!! Weren't you guys listening?"  
  
Kat stared at her. "Uh . . . were we supposed to?"  
  
Akkiko sighed and sat on the floor pouting and drawing little circles in the dust with her finger. "No one loves me!" she said.  
  
Kat sweatdropped. "Uh . . . you're a demon, remember? If someone loves you, you would die from the sweetness."  
  
"And don't you have a hundred and sixty-five boyfriends?" Quatre asked. So far, he had lost his shirt and left shoe. He had placed his vest up for bet.  
  
Kat laid down her cards. "Fork it over!" she said. Quatre grudgingly took it off.  
  
Kat and Akkiko stared. Quatre was actually pretty hot . . . Akkiko ran up to Kat, grabbing her. "GET TROWA TO PLAY!! Get him to bet his shirt!"  
  
Kat sweatdropped. "YOU get him to play! This is the guy who would self- destruct if you look at him funny."  
  
Akkiko stared. "Wasn't that Heero?"  
  
Kat rolled her eyes. "Oh, heck, they'll BOTH self-destruct if you look at them funny."  
  
Akkiko nodded. "That's better!" She went off to look for Meg and Duo. "Where'd the Dingbat get to?"  
  
"SHE'S GONNA EAT ME!!" a scream tore through what was left of the headquarters. Everyone looked up. Kat shrugged. "Okay boys, you can take back your clothes-but NEXT time-we're playing for keeps!"  
  
The pilots looked at each other. "That is the last time I call a woman weak," Wufei said, and pulled his pants back on.  
  
Suddenly another scream tore through the air. It was Akkiko. "I can't open this jar of pickles!"  
  
Wufei rolled his eyes. "Never mind!" Looking at Akkiko, he said smugly. "Weak onna."  
  
Heero looked at Kat. She beeped a button on a stop-watch. "Wow-new record," she said. "Wufei promised not to call women weak for a whole thirty seconds!"  
  
Akkiko swore. "We can kill him AFTER someone opens the pickle jar!"  
  
Quatre stared. "Why don't you go demon-mode?" he asked.  
  
Akkiko glared at him. "Like you use a grenade for special occasions, Demon mode is only used for special occasions. You DON'T use it to open a *beep*in' pickle jar!"  
  
Quatre backed away. "O-kay!" he said, hand raised in form of him.  
  
Yet another scream tore through the remains of the HQ. "SOME ONE SAVE ME FROM THE *BEEP*in' FANGIRL!!"  
  
Everyone stared. "Okay . . . what is Meg doing to the poor boy?" Kat asked.  
  
Wufei looked at her. "Do you REALLY want to know?"  
  
Kat went white. "No. No, not really."  
  
The group proceeded to look for Meg and Duo. They were soon found, Meg was putting on PINK lipstick, and Duo was tied up with duck tape, and hanging upside down from a bit of not-destroyed ceiling.  
  
Akkiko jumped over. "Meg, what the hell are you doing?"  
  
Meg grinned at her. "Getting ready for a snog-fest."  
  
At this Duo screamed even louder. "SAVE ME!!!"  
  
Akkiko looked at Kat; Kat looked at Akkiko. "You go!"  
  
The day went on, and finally the two girls settled the argument with hand- to-hand mortal combat. Unfortunately, Kat won. Akkiko sighed. "FINE!" she snapped. She dragged herself, bruised and battered, over to where Meg was now putting on some eye shadow.  
  
"Uh, Meg, sorry to bother you when you SO busy . . . But I'll have to ask you NOT to scar Duo for life in this way."  
  
Meg turned, and Akkiko jumped back. "AAAH!!! It the thing from the great beyond!" she screamed.  
  
'It's me, you stupid demon," Meg said. Her face was so heavily made-up that no one could really tell it was her.  
  
Kat sweatdropped. "Remind me NEVER to touch makeup again," she whispered to Akkiko.  
  
Akkiko blanched. "I'm not even going to go NEAR the makeup section of stores anymore!"  
  
The GW pilots rolled their eyes. Akkiko, who Kat swore had eyes out the back of her head, turned around, flames in her eyes. "YOU think it's so EASY to be a girl? YOU TRY IT SOMETIME!!" The boys sweatdropped, and turned away, whistling.  
  
"Uh, guys?" Duo called plaintively. "REMEMBER ME?"  
  
Quatre looked over at him. 'Uh . . . sorry. NO, we don't know you. What did you say your name was?"  
  
Meg, Kat and Akkiko sweatdropped. Duo's face went red with rage. "You *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*!!" he yelled. "GET YOUR *BEEP*in' *BEEP*s OVER HERE! I AM GOING TO *BEEP*IN' KILL YOU AFTER THIS IS *BEEP*in' OVER!!"  
  
Akkiko stared. "Hey, no swearing. That's my job, you *BEEP*in' pilot!"  
  
Kat rolled her eyes. Duo swore back at her. "*BEEP* you! *BEEP* your *BEEP*in' *BEEP*!"  
  
Everyone sweatdropped. Two teenagers were in a beeping battle to the end. After a while, Duo was weakening, thanks to the fact that he was hanging upside down. The blood was going to his brain . . . If he had one. Akkiko, however, was still fresh. Kat rummaged around in her purse, bringing out a marker.  
  
She started to narrate. "Okay, folks, things are starting to get ugly. Uh- oh, looks like Duo's started to die . . . Akkiko hits him with fourteen beeps in a row-I think that's a world record. Hey, Meg, check for me. Anyways, Oh-look at that! Duo is making a comeback-oh-Akkiko's down! Good lord! Waitaminute! She's getting back up! YES! Akkiko is beeping the hell out of him!!"  
  
Akkiko and Duo turned to stare at her. "Shut up, you *BEEP*!"  
  
Kat sweatdropped and put the marker away. "Aww . . ." she murmured.  
  
Trowa, seeing a golden opportunity for revenge, took a marker out of HIS back pocket and, speaking quietly so that only the GW boys and Kat could hear, also began narrating.  
  
"Duo's loosing, folks, it looks like Akkiko may be the victor of this one! Wait! Wait! Duo is taking a deep breath-oh my God!! He has unleashed the fury of the red-faced swear! Of course, all the blood is coursing to his non-existent brain, so it's anyone's guess who'll win. Wait a second! Akkiko's breathing deep! What is she going to unleash??"  
  
The air burst out with *BEEP*s!! Trowa continued narrating. "OH MY GOD!! Akkiko is trying to achieve the impossible! She's going for six-thousand swear words in one breath! The is exciting!!"  
  
***  
  
(Five minutes later . . .)  
  
"*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*!!"  
  
Trowa was sweating. "Oh, she's almost there! Five thousand, nine hundred and ninety eight . . . 5999 . . . OH . . . Oh MY GOD! WAIT!! Akkiko is choking!!! She trips on the finish line!!! OH NO!! She's collapsed! Duo is the victor!!"  
  
Suddenly Akkiko looked up. "He is not, you *BEEP*S!!  
  
Trowa sweatdropped. "Ladies and gentlemen . . . we may be here a while."  
  
"Not if I can help it!" Meg burst out.  
  
Kat sweatdropped. "My god, Meg, what have you done to your face? It looks like you've had an allergic reaction with something!"  
  
Akkiko looked over, tiredly. "Isn't Meg allergic to that lipstick I stuck in her purse?" she stared over her shoulder for a moment, and then, eyes wide in fear, took a deep breath and started swearing again.  
  
***  
  
(Ten minutes later)  
  
"OH MY GOD!!" Trowa said. "She's doing it! She's doing it! 5998, 5999! OH MY GOD!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE A NEW WORLD RECORD!!! Six thousand swears in ONE BREATH!! But wait-she's going even further!"  
  
***  
  
(Another ten minutes later)  
  
"Okay . . . look's like Akkiko is starting to wind down . . . Grand total: 7008 swears in one breath! SOME ONE CALL McGUINESS!!"  
  
Kat sighed from where she was sitting; she and the other pilots were continuing their game of Strip Poker. "This is getting old," she said. Without thinking, she continued with. "I bet all my clothes, except for my underwear."  
  
Heero, who had his game-face on, looked up, eyes filled with mischief. And- was that a gleam of eagerness in his eyes?  
  
***  
  
(Five minutes later)  
  
"NO!!" Kat screamed. "YOU CHEATED!!"  
  
Heero had put his cards down: a royal flush. Kat's face was completely red.  
  
"Come on, Kat!" Akkiko said. The others had started laughing. "Fork them over!"  
  
Kat sighed, and went behind a wall, throwing her clothes over as she took them off. "There is no way in hell," she muttered. "I am going to kill something!!"  
  
Akkiko gulped. "Um . . . that something wouldn't be ME, would it?"  
  
Kat's head peeked out from behind the wall. "If you get within my range- then yes!!"  
  
Meg, who was still washing off the after-affects of the allergy-inducing makeup, felt sorry for Kat. She grabbed the clothes that Kat had won *sort of* and threw them over the wall.  
  
"HEY!!" The GW boys said.  
  
"Would someone help me?" Duo called *still hanging upside-down.  
  
A minute later Kat stepped out; she was now wearing Heero's tank top, Wufei's shoes and Quatre's pants.  
  
The boys sweatdropped. "GIVE US BACK OUR CLOTHES!!" They screamed and tackled her. Kat yelled and ran away, leaving a very confused Akkiko, Meg and Duo *who was STILL tied upside down*  
  
Meg turned to Akkiko. Do you think we should help her?"  
  
Akkiko shook her head. "Nah, she can handle herself."  
  
Duo sweatdropped. "AKKIKO!! Get me the hell down from here!"  
  
Akkiko turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "Dude, you must be desperate to ask for MY help.  
  
Duo thought for a moment and then nodded his head wildly. "I AM desperate!"  
  
Akkiko sighed, and went over to him. With some difficulty *her being so short* it took her a few minutes before Duo crashed to the ground headfirst. Her lay there, his eyes little X's. Meg ran over to him.  
  
"Are you alright, Duo?' she asked in a sweet voice.  
  
Duo popped up and edged away form. "Yes, I'm fine-if you kept away from me!!"  
  
Meg pouted. "Boys," she muttered and stalked off.  
  
Akkiko stared after her, perplexed. She pulled out her cell phone and hit a few buttons. "Hey, Dracee, how ya doing?"  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. Leave me the hell alone!! 


	3. Heero's Worst Nightmare

"Kat, if you don't give us back our clothes, we won't give you back yours!" Quatre called, out a towel *that had also miraculously survived the explosion* around his waist, since Kat was wearing his pants.  
  
"What kind of threat is that?" Wufei asked and took a step forward, his feet bare. "Kat, come out right now and I won't chop you up with my katana."  
  
Kat suddenly dodged out from behind a bit of half-crushed metal and grabbed Wufei's shoulders. She pressed his mouth to hers and then let him go. He melted to the ground in a puddle.  
  
"Still got it." Kat walked past the boys, face totally expressionless. "Oh, and by the way, if you want your clothes back, give me back my *BEEP*in' clothes first!"  
  
She ducked behind another piece of metal and threw over Heero's shirt. She in turn got her shirt back. Next were Quatre's pants and she got her jeans back. Finally there were Wufei's shoes. Quatre handed her her sneakers. Kat stared at them for a moment.  
  
"Quatre, give me back my socks!" Kat said.  
  
Quatre grinned. "No . . . No I don't think I will."  
  
Akkiko walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He jumped. "Evil demon!" he yelled.  
  
Akkiko smiled. "Thank-you," she said. "Oh, and you really don't want Kat to go into demon mode. Give her back the socks."  
  
Quatre hugged them close to his chest and yelled, "NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!"  
  
Meg walked up and sighed. "Why do want the socks anyways?"  
  
Quatre rubbed his head against them. "They're *soft*."  
  
Kat stared at him. "That . . . is so disturbing."  
  
Akkiko sighed and pulled something from her pocket. It was a black handkerchief with a mysterious red splotch on it. She waved it at Quatre. "Give Kat back her socks and I'll give you this," she said.  
  
Quatre stared at the handkerchief. "What is that?"  
  
Akkiko smiled. "Just touch it."  
  
Quatre reached for it hesitantly. Suddenly he dropped the socks and started rubbing his head against the handkerchief. Meg stared. "Akkiko . . . What did you do to the poor boy?"  
  
Akkiko grinned. "This would be a very special silk. The material . . . is a secret."  
  
Kat and Meg looked at each other, then at Quatre, then back to Akkiko. "*BEEP* the *BEEP*in' secret!" the yelled. "We can't have Quatre rubbing his head against the hanky all fic!"  
  
Akkiko grinned. "Oh, no worries. Kat, put on your socks. Everyone, hold onto any loose clothing before Quatre gets his hands on it. Okay!" She went up to Quatre. "D'you know what that red spot is?" she asked. He looked at her and shook his head vigorously. Akkiko grinned. "It's blood!"  
  
Quatre dropped the thing and ran away screaming. Akkiko laughed, and everyone backed away from her. "Where did you get blood?"  
  
Akkiko looked at them, a maniacal gleam in her eyes. "Wouldn't YOU like to know?" The GW boys backed away and looked at Kat and Meg.  
  
"That thing is your friend?" they asked. The girls rolled her eyes.  
  
"Yep," they said. "Scary, isn't it?"  
  
Suddenly alarms started going off. Everyone looked around. "Okay. . ." Trowa said, "Wasn't most of the HQ's destroyed in the explosion?"  
  
Everyone looked at him. "YES. . ."  
  
"And wouldn't the alarms have been destroyed, too?"  
  
"YES. . ."  
  
"So where are the *BEEP*in' alarm sounds coming from?"  
  
"YES. . ."  
  
Trowa sweatdropped. "If you aren't listening to me, say 'Yes' in a cheesy voice."  
  
Everyone stared at him. "YES."  
  
(A/N: That's based on a scene from Akkiko's 'Ordinary Day')  
  
Trowa stalked off, fuming. "Stupid *BEEP*in' females that come out of no- where . . . stupid *BEEP*in' pilots. . ."  
  
Akkiko popped up beside him. "Trowa-sweetie, you're talking to yourself again."  
  
Trowa fainted back in an anime-fall at her entrance and then popped back up. "STOP APPEARING OUT OF NO-WHERE!!" he yelled. "IT'S ANNOYING!!"  
  
Akkiko's eyes suddenly filled with tears and she sobbed, "You don't like me!! I'm not GOOD enough for you!" She turned away from him and started bawling.  
  
Trowa's face went red with embarrassment. "Now wait a minute! I never said I didn't like you!"  
  
Akkiko turned back a little, sniffing. "Then . . . then you LIKE me?!" She grabbed Trowa in a death-hug. "I'm so HAPPY!!!"  
  
(A/N: That's kind of ripped off from Fushigi Yugi)  
  
"Aw. . . . that is so sweet." Akkiko heard Quatre behind her. She turned and saw the GW boys and Kat and Meg standing there, staring at them.  
  
She went completely red and pushed away from Trowa . . . so hard, in fact that Trowa went flying.  
  
Akkiko proceeded to go into Demon mode Level 2. "ARE YOU PEOPLE SPYING ON US???" she thundered.  
  
Everyone looked away, whistling. "Noo. . ." they said, and went on with their business.  
  
The alarms were still going off. "Okay, that's starting to get annoying," Meg said, stuffing cotton in her ears.  
  
"Do you want me to try and defuse it?" Kat offered. Everyone stared at her, very scared.  
  
~flashback~  
  
"Everyone hang on to your butts!" Kat said, and pulled a little red wire out between her fingers. "I am a trained professional . . . not!"  
  
Akkiko leaped away and hid behind Heero. "The last time she tried to defuse a bomb, she ended up in Tibet!"  
  
"Did not!" Kat screeched. "It was Czechoslovakia!" Kat took the pliers and put them around the red wire. Squeezing her eyes shut, she prayed.  
  
Everyone else stared at her, then at each other, and then ducked behind Treize's chair *It was . . . all little cramped*  
  
"Heero, you're on my head!" Akkiko screeched.  
  
Kat, startled by the yell, accidentally clipped the blue wire. "Oops . . ." she said. KABOOM!!!!  
  
"Oh, crap!" everyone said, and hid behind the chair. The chair protected him. Duo, however, continued to run about, screaming "My braid is on fire! My braid is on fire!"  
  
A stumbling pile of ashes made its way towards them. "Another mission, perfectly executed!" Kat said.  
  
Everyone glared. "PERFECTLY??"  
  
Kat shrugged. "Well . . . almost perfectly."  
  
~end flashback~  
  
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Everyone screamed, and ran away. Kat pouted.  
  
"No one loves me," she said.  
  
Akkiko stuck her head out from a pile of rubble. "Oh, we love you . . . we just don't trust you!"  
  
Kat rolled her eyes. "Same *BEEP*in' thing!"  
  
Meg stuck her head out form behind a pile of rubble. "Okay, haven't we had enough swearing?"  
  
Akkiko glared. 'No, that's my job!"  
  
Duo stuck his head out form you know where. "No, that's my job, you little *BEEP*."  
  
Akkiko stuck her tongue out of him. "*BEEP* you!'  
  
"Shut your mouth you little *BEEP*!"  
  
Meg sighed. "Damn it, here we go again. Damn-can't swear! Damn! Damn!" (A/N: That's from one of Meg's stories)  
  
Trowa poked his head out of-you guessed it-a pile of rubble. There was a marker being held up to his mouth. "And we're at it again, folks-Duo has one swear, Akkiko has two, Meg's at three-make that four-no, wait-five!"  
  
Akkiko, Duo and Meg turned on him, their faced very big and scary. Lightening flashed behind them. "Shut your *BEEP*in' mouth you *BEEP*!!!"  
  
Trowa went, 'Eep!" and dove back behind the pile of rubble. The marker spun in mid-air for a minute, and then he reached up and grabbed it.  
  
Heero sighed. "Well . . . that was amusing."  
  
Suddenly a large, squeaky shriek came from no-where. "HEEEEEEEERRRRROOOOO!!"  
  
Heero swore and started tunnelling under the dirt. Akkiko grinned, and everyone stared at her, very afraid. She smiled so that all thirty-two of her teeth showed. "I've been practicing!"  
  
Everyone did an anime fall. Heero popped up first and drew out his gun. "You die now, demon!" Suddenly a rock hit him in the back of the head. "HEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRROOOOOO!!" Heero turned back to Akkiko, very much annoyed. "Ha hah, very funny but I'm not falling for it this time."  
  
Akkiko shrugged. "Whatever. Anyways, I didn't do it the second time."  
  
Heero paled and was suddenly tackled form behind. A pair of arms encircled him and crushed them to a flying figure that landed on him. "Heero!! I'm so glad to see you!" Relena said.  
  
Heero started squirming and struggling. He screamed. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!!"  
  
Duo didn't seem to want to touch it, and the other pilots turned away and started whistling. Meg and Akkiko looked at the two of them, then at each other.  
  
"Wow-it's even worse when you're actually here," Meg commented.  
  
Akkiko stared. "Did we warn Relena about Kat killing her?"  
  
Meg burst out laughing. "Good one, Akkiko!"  
  
Akkiko smiled. "Yeah, but seriously, do you think we should tell her?"  
  
Silence. There was a little sound from one of the corner that sounded slightly like, 'Cricket! Cricket!'  
  
"NNNNNAAWWW!" Meg and Akkiko said in unison and plopped down on the ground. They pulled out two bags of popcorn, once more, seemingly form No-where.  
  
~interruption~  
  
Lily_among_the_thorns_89: Seriously-where is this 'No-Where'?  
  
Akkiko: Oy . . . You haven't figured it out?'  
  
Lily_among_the_thorns_89: No. . . .  
  
Akkiko: Good. Neither have I.  
  
Katchild_17: Would you two pipe down! I'm about to kick Relena butt!  
  
~end~  
  
Kat was staring at Relena, a funny look in her eyes, her eye twitching. Relena, blissfully unaware that she was about to come face-to-face with a full-fledged demonmode, continued to glomp Heero. Suddenly she felt a clawed hand on her shoulder.  
  
"May I speak to you for a moment, Miss Darlian?" Kat asked in a very scary voice. It sounded strange, as if she was forcing herself to be polite *note I say forced*  
  
Relena smiled at her and let go of Heero, who scrambled out of the way. "Yes?" she said to Kat, who was growing cat's ears. The other Gundam Pilots also scrambled away, yelling "Every man for himself!"  
  
Akkiko frowned from the sidelines. "Excuse me-there are women here too!"  
  
Trowa poked his head out. "Excuse us-every man AND WOMAN for him OR HER self! Happy?"  
  
Akkiko nodded. "Very much so," she said and popped some pocky into her mouth.  
  
Meg passed her a soda, unfortunately not reading the label.  
  
Akkiko grabbed the soda, coughing. "Thank you-I'm choking on pocky!" She threw back her head and gulped down the soda in one swallow. Too late Meg saw the label on the can.  
  
"Uh-oh," she said.  
  
Going back to Kat and Relena-  
  
"Okay, missy-" Kat said. "Can we get one thing straight between you and me?"  
  
"Yes, dear, or course," Relena said.  
  
Kat winced. "Going to . . . die from . . . sweetness!" she muttered to herself. A little louder, she said, "Heero is mine!"  
  
Relena's eyebrows went down. "Pardon me?" she said in a dangerous voice.  
  
"Are you deaf, woman?! Heero is mine!"  
  
Meg dropped her bag of popcorn on the sidelines. "Dude-Kat! Do you realize what you're confessing!?"  
  
Kat reverted back to human-mode, realization dawning on her face. Her hands came up to her mouth and she hunched down, her eyes wide.  
  
"Oh m'god!" she whispered. "Oh m'god oh m'god oh m'god!" Her face was completely red, and she had little sweatdropped all over the back of her head. "I cannot believe I just admitted that."  
  
Heero stared at her. "You like me?"  
  
Akkiko rolled her eyes and threw some popcorn at him. "It wasn't OBVIOUS enough for you Mister Perfect-Soldier? How thick can you be?"  
  
Kat looked up at Akkiko. "Um, why are you throwing popcorn?"  
  
Akkiko thought for a moment, and then grinned maniacally. "I don't know. I'm feeling . . . crazy today." Meg was frantically waving a can around behind her.  
  
"Hey, Meg, what does that can say?" Kat asked, squinting. Then her eyes widened as she read the letters I-C-E-D-T-E-A. "SHIT!" Kat said and jumped about eight feet backward, landing in Heero's lap. She flushed. "Um, about that thing I said three seconds ago. . ."  
  
"When you said, 'Heero mine!'?" Heero said, a grin on his lips.  
  
"Uh . . . yeah," Kat continued to blush when lightening flashed around them and Relena's face was pushed between theirs.  
  
"Get-away-from-my-Heero!" Relena thundered, and her hands latched themselves around Kat's throat. She proceeded to choke her.  
  
"Akkiko!" Kat gasped as Relena shook her around like a chew-toy. "Do- something!"  
  
Akkiko had stopped throwing popcorn at Heero and was now throwing it at Meg, and it was bouncing off her forehead. Needless to say, there was a twitching vein in Meg's forehead.  
  
"Like what?" Akkiko said innocently, continuing to throw popcorn at Meg.  
  
"ANYTHING!" Kat yelled, her face blue.  
  
Akkiko grinned and . . . . started throwing popcorn at Relena. Kat and Relena sweatdropped.  
  
"That's IT?" Kat asked. "You're not going to go all demon-mode on her??"  
  
Akkiko smiled and continued throwing. "No, this is so much more amusing," she said, giggling (A/N: I'm not sure if Akkiko is scientifically able to giggle, but for entertainment's she IS!)  
  
Relena stared at Akkiko, little blue lines under one eye. "What is she, like two years old?" she asked.  
  
It was THEN that Akkiko grew Demon's horns and cat ears, and a tail and . . . . Yeah, you get it. "I am not two!" she said slowly. "I am fourteen!"  
  
Relena rolled her eyes. "Well," she started in a snobby voice. "With the way you're acting, that information surprises me greatly."  
  
Akkiko growled, and started to walk forward hands outstretched. Then she stopped and began to think . . . for once in her life. Then she grinned maniacally and walked up to Heero and kissed him on the lips. Relena's mouth dropped open, totally shocked. Then she closed it and fire suddenly burst up behind her.  
  
"Heero is MINE!!" she said.  
  
Akkiko turned and continued to grin manically. Heero touched his head. "Is the room spinning?" he asked.  
  
Akkiko smiled, satisfied. "Let's see a two-year-old do THAT!" she said and walked off cackling.  
  
Kat glared after her. "Hey, why did you have to kiss MY guy?"  
  
Everyone stared at her. "YOUR guy?"  
  
Once again, realization dawned on Kat's face. She flushed and hunched down again. "I did not say that I did not say that I did not say that!!!" she screamed to herself.  
  
Akkiko grinned. "Yes you did!"  
  
Meg grinned also. "Yes you did!"  
  
The both grinned. "Yes you did yes you did yes you did!" They began throwing popcorn at Kat, singing,  
  
"Kat and Heero sitting in a tree-  
  
K-I-S-S-I-N-ACK!!"  
  
Akkiko and Meg suddenly shot eighteen feet in the air, as Kat blew out a match. She grinned. "Thanks for letting me borrow the rockets, Duo!"  
  
Duo threw her a thumbs-up. "No problem!"  
  
Meg and Akkiko continued to fly through the air until-BANG!!-they crashed into the ceiling.  
  
Akkiko sighed. "Damn low ceiling," she mumbled, and they pried their heads from the steel.  
  
Heero tugged the front of Duo's shirt until their faces were only an inch apart. "You gave an insane teenage girl explosives?"  
  
Duo shrugged. "Hey, I work with them every day."  
  
Heero stopped for a moment. "Good point." He let go of Duo's shirt and pulled out his gun. "I think I'll do the world a favour." He aimed and clicked the safety off.  
  
Duo went pale. "Uh . . . help?" he said meekly.  
  
Meg suddenly crashed down on top of Heero. Duo looked up. "Someone up there likes me!" he said, and, snatching Meg up, ran away.  
  
Meg rubbed her head. "Oooh, what did I hit?" she asked, dazed.  
  
"Um, Heero's head!" Duo said. "You saved my life!" He set Meg down.  
  
"Oh?" Meg blinked, trying to focus her eyes. "Nice, but . . . do you have some Advil on you?"  
  
Duo grinned and kissed her. Meg melted into a puddle. "How's that?"  
  
Meg solidified. "My headache is totally gone." She grinned. "Thanks, Duo."  
  
Duo shrugged. "Hey, you saved my life! A kiss seems like a very small price to pay in exchange for not being killed my Heero Yuy."  
  
Akkiko, in the meantime, had also crashed down from the ceiling and landed on Relena. "Get off of me!" she was screeching.  
  
Akkiko sat up. "Aw, shut up, ya onna from hell!"  
  
Wufei looked over at her. "Stop using my insults, kisamaa!"  
  
Akkiko's eyes narrowed. "Shut up you ponytail'd *BEEP!*" she said.  
  
Trowa (still kind of hiding behind one of the many piles of rubble) smelled another swearing contest coming on, and pulled out his marker again. Quatre suddenly toddled back, carrying a box of cookies.  
  
"Hey, guys, want some cookies?" he asked. Akkiko perked up and dived for the elements of sugar.  
  
Meg and Duo also came over, and each took one. Soon the box was passed around and everyone was contentedly munching on cookies. And so, for a few minutes at least, world war was prevented.  
  
"Hey, Quatre, where did you find these?" Duo asked.  
  
"In the kitchen. We didn't blow up as much of the headquarters as we thought." Quatre took another bite of cookie. Being dumber than the average human, he did not notice the label on the box. It read: Caution. 100% sugar. Do not feed to: mercenary pilots of giant machines of death, demons, sorceresses, crazy ladies, or weird little were-kat things.  
  
Meg grabbed the box for another cookie. She spotted the label. "Uh-oh. . ." she said, and beckoned Kat and Akkiko over. "Look at this."  
  
Kat took the box. "Do not feed to: mercenary pilots of giant machines of death." The girls looked up at the Gundam pilots. It may have been just them, but the boys were looking a bit . . . suicidal-ish.  
  
Akkiko continued. "Demons-well, you're all screwed now-sorceresses-Meg, how many have you had?"  
  
"This is my second one!" Meg said. She took the box again. "Crazy ladies- where's Relena?"  
  
The girls looked around and spotted Relena eating you-know-what. Meg continued. "And weird little were-Kat thingies."  
  
Kat sweatdropped. "Who manufactures this stuff?" she said. "That's just creepy."  
  
Heero suddenly stood up. "Okay, girls, we're leaving!" He said.  
  
"Um . . . where are we going?" Akkiko asked, half-afraid to hear the answer.  
  
"I don't know . . . somewhere where we can cause mass destruction."  
  
"YES!" Duo jumped up as well. "Bring on the Mobile Dolls! I'll bring the dynamite!"  
  
Everyone stood except Relena, who was now in a sugar-high stupor. "Let's just leave her," Trowa whispered. "She'll be okay."  
  
Everyone started to leave the destroyed headquarters, but. . .  
  
"Meg! Come on!" Akkiko yelled over her shoulder.  
  
"Let me finish my cookie, dammit!" Meg said, still munching.  
  
Trowa rolled his eyes. "She is obsessed with the cookie," he said.  
  
Meg bounced up to them. "The cookie rules all!" she said.  
  
Kat looked confused. "But we always say, 'all hail the muffin'."  
  
"What's with all the pastry?" Akkiko yelled, pulling at her hair.  
  
Heero, Wufei, and Trowa, turned to them, lightening flashing behind them (Quatre and Duo were in Sugar-mode, bouncing around near their Gundams).  
  
"Would you three stop fooling around?" the four pilots yelled. Meg, Kat and Akkiko sweatdropped.  
  
"Us? Stop fooling around?" they looked at each other. "WHAT IS THIS WOLD COMING TO??" They all hunched down, thoroughly scarred.  
  
The pilots sighed, and turned to each other. "What have we brought into this world?" they asked.  
  
Duo bounced up. "From what they tell us, we've brought: a were-Kat, a demon, and a sorceress."  
  
The pilots sweatdropped. "Gee, thanks Duo."  
  
Akkiko popped up again and threw her around Trowa. "I feel so lost!" she wailed, tears trickling out her eyes.  
  
Trowa looked at her awkwardly. "Uh. . ." he said, looking over at the other pilots, frantically gesturing, "what do I do?'  
  
Duo gulped. "Don't look at me-I'm not equipped to deal with crying girls!" (A/N: Inspired by Inu-yasha!) He ran off.  
  
Heero gulped. "I didn't get any training for this!" he yelped and ran off after Duo.  
  
Trowa turned to Quatre, the most sensitive of the bunch. He gestured 'What do I do what do I do??" Akkiko had continued to cry, making his shirt wetter and wetter.  
  
Quatre shrugged. "I don't know how to act around girls." He walked off towards Sandrock.  
  
Trowa looked at Wufei, who scowled. "Don't even ask!"  
  
Kat and Meg sidled up beside the frantic youth. "Ahem," they said. "You might want to try showing some compassion. Works every time."  
  
Trowa blinked once, twice, three times. He sighed and patted Akkiko's back awkwardly. "It's okay," he said.  
  
Akkiko looked up at him. "You don't think I'm weak, do you?"  
  
"Uh. . . . . . . . No."  
  
Akkiko grinned. "Thank you!" she squeezed him around the waist and let go, walking away calmly.  
  
Meg turned to Kat. "The sugar is beginning to set in."  
  
"Ya don't say." Kat thought for a moment. "Wait a minute-didn't she have iced tea earlier? What's going to happen now that she has that and 100% sugar cookies in her system?"  
  
Meg took a moment to picture this, then hunched down again, a giant sweatdrop on her head. "Thank-you Kat! Now I have to go wash my brain out!"  
  
Kat grinned. "You're welcome."  
  
Relena toddled out from the HQs. "Excuse me, can I have a ride?" she asked pleasantly.  
  
Everyone blanched. "RUN FOR IT!!" they screamed, and dove for the Gundams. Once the pilots were in their respective suits (and our heroines were on the heads of their respective suits), they took off, leaving Relena stranded (A/N: Yes I am evil. Akkiko: No! This is a good thing! Kat: GET THE HELL OUT OF MY AUTHOR'S NOTE! THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!! Akkiko: Eep!)  
  
Relena sighed. Suddenly Zechs came out from a pile of rubble, rubbing his eyes.  
  
"Did I miss anything?" he yawned.  
  
Relena smiled. "Milliardo!"  
  
Zechs's eyes flew open, staring disbelievingly at his sister. Then he began screaming and ran away.  
  
Relena pouted. "Every single time," she said. She pulled out her cell phone. Punching in a number, she spoke into it. "Hi, Dorothy. . ."  
  
(A/N: BWAHAHAHA!!! Blast me and my cliff-hangers! I am the ruler of all!  
  
Akkiko: (sweatdropping) Uh, Kat? Chill.  
  
Kat: Sorry-I'm hyper! I just watched Inu-yasha!  
  
Akkiko: Yeah, yeah-but tone it down-you're scaring me!)  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing-especially Relena!  
  
Relena: I feel so unloved!!  
  
Kat: Yeah . . . whatever. 


	4. The Best Graphic Novel in the World!

"Okay. . ." Akkiko looked around. "So, where are we now?"  
  
"You don't know?" Kat asked. "Miracle of miracles, Akkiko doesn't know something about Gundam Wing.  
  
"Shudup!"  
  
"I think we might be in another bomb shelter," Meg observed.  
  
"How-" Akkiko was abruptly cut off when Duo ran by screaming. Heero ran after him, waving his gun.  
  
"You stupid braided baka!" Heero was yelling. "I'm going to *BEEP*in' kill you!"  
  
"Hey!" Meg frowned. "Kat, why is your boyfriend attacking MY boyfriend?"  
  
Kat bristled a little. "He is not my boyfriend. . ." she muttered darkly.  
  
Akkiko rolled her eyes again. "Kat's in denial again."  
  
"I am NOT IN DENIAL!" Kat yelled, her face an inch from Akkiko's.  
  
Akkiko sweatdropped. "Kat . . . You're scaring the demon, here."  
  
Meg sighed. "Kat, relax."  
  
Kat turned. "I AM RELAXED!!" She yelled. Meg collapsed onto her back, her eyes squiggles. Kat took a deep breath in and let it out.  
  
"Kat?" Akkiko hazarded to approach the hyperventilating teen. "Are you going to be okay?"  
  
"Just give me a moment, I will be fine," Kat gasped.  
  
Duo ran by once more, Heero chasing after him. Behind Heero was Wufei, yelling, "HEERO! Give me back my katana!"  
  
"But I need it to kill Duo!" Heero hollered back. "He touched my laptop!"  
  
Akkiko raised an eyebrow. "Can't you use your gun?"  
  
Heero shrugged. "Trowa's using it . . . I don't want to know."  
  
Suddenly Trowa dropped down from the rafters and raised a gun at Duo's head. "Maxwell, what did you do with my mask?"  
  
Duo sighed. "Okay, I'll admit that I touched Heero's laptop, but I don't KNOW WHERE YOUR FRICKIN' MASK IS!"  
  
Trowa didn't lower the gun. "Maxwell. . ."  
  
Quatre appeared behind Trowa, holding his mask. "Hey, Trowa, I found this in the laundry basket with your costume. You might want to be more careful with it." He handed the mask to Trowa.  
  
Everyone stared at him. He blushed and lowered the gun. "Ahem," he coughed. "Sorry, Duo."  
  
Duo blinked. "Trowa's . . . apologizing?" His eyes went all glassy. "This is too much for my brain to handle." He proceeded to go into 'Brain- Overload' Mode.  
  
Heero sighed and handed Wufei his katana. "It's no fun if he doesn't run."  
  
Wufei grabbed the sword, nodding. "Yeah, I know what you mean."  
  
Suddenly Wufei found Akkiko's arms around his neck. She was hanging from behind him. "Hey, Wufei?" she said in an innocent voice. "Can I borrow your sword?"  
  
Wufei stared at her. "One: It is a katana, not a sword. Two: No one touches my weapon of honour. Three: Don't touch me."  
  
Akkiko sighed, irritated. She walked back over to Kat. Meg was getting over the sonic boom that had occurred to her ear lobes, and was struggling to her feet.  
  
"Told you," Kat said dully.  
  
"Damn you." Akkiko pouted. "Now where am I going to get a sword?"  
  
"KAT!" Meg was shouting because, of course, she can barely hear. "YOU MADE ME DEAF, YOU BAKA!"  
  
Kat grinned. "And it's just another day with the GW gang!"  
  
~~~  
  
Later on, the eight of them were lounging around in the bomb shelter's recreation area. Heero, Quatre and Trowa were playing pool, Duo and Meg ping-pong, Wufei and Kat were reading, and Akkiko was all by herself. Not a good thing.  
  
Akkiko drew little circles on the carpet. 'I am so boooooooooored,' she thought. 'Can't there be SOME kind of chaos I can cause?' She sighed loudly. Kat heard the sigh, and frowned a little, not looking up from her book.  
  
"Akkiko?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"No."  
  
"No what?"  
  
"No, you can't cause mass destruction."  
  
Akkiko sweatdropped. Kat turned the page of her book. Akkiko scowled, muttered, "Kisamaa," and walked out of the recreation room.  
  
Wufei blinked at Kat. "You can read each other's minds?"  
  
Kat shrugged. "Not really. But I know that whenever you leave Akkiko alone, all kinds of disturbing things can happen."  
  
Meg hit the ping-pong ball back at Duo. "So why don't you go after her?" she asked Kat.  
  
Kat blinked at her. "It's your turn to make sure she doesn't hurt herself."  
  
Meg sighed. "Fine," she snapped, and hit the ball savagely. It zinged past Duo, and she slammed her racket on the table. "Match point." She started to walk out of the room.  
  
"MEG!" Kat yelled suddenly. Meg stopped. "Make sure Akkiko doesn't hurt anyone ELSE, either."  
  
Meg sighed. "Why do I always get the tough jobs?" She walked out of the room.  
  
~~~  
  
(Five minutes later)  
  
KABLAMMO!!!!  
  
Kat sighed irritably. "What did I say?"  
  
Heero ran out the door. "We'd better make sure they didn't do too much damage to the shelter."  
  
"Geez, Heero," Duo said sarcastically, following him. "That's, like, soooo compassionate."  
  
Heero shrugged. "Hey, I can be compassionate. The point is-this shelter is the only thing that keeps OZ, Zechs, and-" he shuddered. "-Relena out." They continued to run through the hallways, followed by Kat, Trowa, and Wufei. Quatre had stayed behind, God knows why.  
  
The pilots, as well as Kat, ran down several hallways until they came to a door. Smoke was leaking from the corners.  
  
"Shit!" Duo said. "That's where I keep my extra bombs!" Everyone stared at him. "Ahem," he coughed and tried *note-tried* to look innocent.  
  
"That's also where I keep the extra guns and ammunition for Heavyarms and the other Gundams." Trowa walked forward and typed in the access code for the room. The door opened and black smoke spilled out.  
  
As the others hacked, Kat walked forward. "Explosives, guns, ammunition-it all adds up to one thing." She peered around a corner and discovered confirmation for her theory. "An Akkiko paradise!"  
  
Akkiko was sitting on the floor, surrounded by wiring, bombs of every shape and size, several guns, and several crates of ammunition. She was grinning like a maniac *which she is anyway*. Meg was lying on her back on the floor, covered with ashes.  
  
"Akkiko-what did we say about playing with explosives?" Kat asked. Akkiko glanced up at her, then at her miniature store of weapons of mass destruction.  
  
She laughed nervously, and stood up, walking away as if nothing was wrong. "What? I didn't do anything."  
  
Wufei looked at her, an annoyed look on his face. "You're found surrounded by explosives, with a burnt match in your hand, and you say you didn't do anything?"  
  
Akkiko dropped the match. "Meg lit the fuse!"  
  
Trowa sighed. "What a mess," he said. "I just cleaned this storeroom, too."  
  
Heero looked around. "Yeah, I was wondering where all the spare parts for the Gundams got to."  
  
Trowa went up to a shelf of boxes. Pulling one down, he opened it to find a box of giant bolts.  
  
"Hey, this is some stuff I got from Doktor S!" he said. "I can't believe it's still here!"  
  
"Yeah, there are some parts for Wing Zero I got from Doctor J." Heero's eyes travelled along the stacks of boxes in one corner.  
  
"Same for Nataku." Wufei pointed to a box that had Chinese written on it. "That must be from Master O."  
  
"You know, if I didn't know better, I would think those old fogies planned to send us to earth from the very beginning," Duo said.  
  
The boys realized that Kat and Akkiko were looking at them funny (Meg was still unconscious).  
  
"What?" Heero finally asked.  
  
"You don't KNOW?" Akkiko said. "They never TOLD YOU?"  
  
"Who never told us what?" Wufei snapped.  
  
"The scientists that built the Gundams!" Kat said, as if it was obvious. "They never told you they knew each other?"  
  
The pilots stared blankly. The two girls sighed, irritated.  
  
"Why should we believe you?" Trowa asked. "I mean, we don't even know you."  
  
Akkiko glared. "So, you don't believe us . . . ?" She growled, and reached behind her.  
  
The boys tensed for a moment, thinking she was going to pull out an axe, but. . .  
  
. . . There was a moment's tension. . .  
  
. . . And she pulled out. . .  
  
. . . a book. . .  
  
The boys fell over. Kat, however, looked like she had been expecting it. She grinned.  
  
"And what, pray tell, is that?" Wufei finally managed, dragging himself up off the ground.  
  
"Gundam Wing: Episode Zero!" Akkiko and Kat said together gleefully. "The best graphic novel in the world!"  
  
Duo blinked at the cover page. "Hey-that's us!"  
  
Akkiko whacked him over the head. "Of course it is, you ding-dong! This book is about you guys!"  
  
"Say WHAT?" The pilots looked stricken.  
  
"Well, to be more specific. . . It's about your past." Kat grinned at them as Akkiko opened the book and began to flip through it, reading random parts.  
  
"Gundam War Chronicle . . . Operation Meteor . . . assassinate Minister Darlian . . . Heero and Doctor J . . .Trowa Barton killed by Doktor S. . . 'No-name' becomes Trowa's stand-in. . .Master O and Wufei. . . Duo 'steals' Deathscythe from Professor G . . . Quatre defies pacifist father and helps Instructor H. . . ."  
  
The boys looked more and more stricken the more Akkiko read. Kat casually looked over her shoulder at the book, very interested.  
  
"Ah-ha!" Akkiko said finally. "Here it is! Ahem. 'And so the five boys descend to Earth through completely different circumstances. Although they didn't know each other, the same can't be said of the old scientists. A different take on the story might be that the boys were manipulated by these old geezers, and deliberately set into a trap! Maybe we should feel sorry for the boys.'"  
  
Kat and Akkiko looked at each other, then at the boys, then at each other again. "NAW!" they said in unison.  
  
"Where did you get that book!?" Wufei demanded.  
  
"Yeah-hey, let me see it!" Trowa lunged for Akkiko, who dodged out of the way and began running around the storage room, Trowa in close pursuit.  
  
"LET ME SEE IT!" he kept yelling.  
  
"NO!" She yelled back.  
  
Finally Trowa was out of breath. Akkiko, however, was still fresh (being a demon, after all), and continued to run around. Trowa hunched over, hands on his knees, panting.  
  
"Hey . . . Kat? Know how to stop Akkiko?" he gasped, looking over at the other girl. He sweatdropped.  
  
Kat was reading a book, and he could see the title: Gundam Wing: Episode Zero.  
  
"Did you have that all along?" Trowa burst out. Kat looked up at him innocently.  
  
"Yeah," she said. "Akkiko and I each have a copy."  
  
Trowa scowled, a vein twitching in his temple. He snatched the book from Kat's hands.  
  
"HEY!" she said, and ran to tackle him. She found his hand on her forehead, his arm stretched out, so that she could only flail her arms around. "HEY! No FAIR!"  
  
Trowa flipped around, holding the book one-handed. "EEK!" He said suddenly. "I'm in here!" He looked closer, then dropped the book. "I knew Lady Une when I was a kid? And I didn't even kill her?!" He ran out of the room, screaming.  
  
Wufei picked the book up before Kat could reclaim it. He flipped to Trowa's part again. "Whoa-Lady Une's real name is Middie?" He snickered. "That's hilarious!" He flipped to Heero's story. "Um . . . Heero?" Did you know you *almost* succeeded in killing Treize?" He cast a dark look at Heero. "Looks like the perfect soldier isn't so perfect."  
  
Heero grabbed the book *Kat desperately trying to snatch it back* He flipped to Duo's story accidentally. "Duo-you look like a girl! I mean . . . more than usual. . ."  
  
Duo grabbed it, by mistake flipping to Wufei's story. "Wufei-you wear GLASSES??"  
  
Wufei scowled and pulled out his gun, aiming it at Duo. Duo pulled out a gun and aimed it for Heero. Heero pulled out a gun and aimed for Wufei.  
  
Kat sweatdropped. "All this for a book?" she muttered.  
  
Meg, who sometime during this had revived, grinned. "Oooh-a gun triangle! This should be interesting!" The pilots all aimed for her. "Eep! Shutting up!'  
  
Suddenly Quatre walked in. "Hey, guys, Trowa ran down the hallways screaming. What's going on?" He saw the book in Duo's hand. "Hey, Duo- what's that?"  
  
Duo looked into the book, which was turned to Quatre's story. He read the part about Quatre's mother, and went "EEP!" He closed the book, hiding it behind his back. "Nothing."  
  
Quatre looked at Duo, suspicious. "Duo, you're hiding something around your back. What is it?"  
  
"N-N-n-n-n-n-n-n-nothing!" Duo stuttered. Kat took this chance to get one of her favourite books back. Darting forward, she grabbed the book from behind Duo's back and deftly hid it behind her own.  
  
Quatre frowned. "Kat, show me your hands."  
  
Kat obeyed, shrugging. Her hands were empty. Meg raised an eyebrow at her. "Where'd it go, Kat?"  
  
"Back into the no-where." Kat grinned and walked off, whistling.  
  
Everyone looked after her sweatdropping. Akkiko ran over, clutching her own copy of Gundam Wing: Episode Zero. "Hey! What'd I miss?"  
  
Meg sighed. "Kat brought out her own copy of that book and all heck broke loose."  
  
Akkiko's eyes filled with tears. "And I MISSED IT??!!" She plopped down on the floor, and began bawling.  
  
The others sweatdropped. "Um . . . . . . .. . . .okay."  
  
~~~  
  
The day progressed without anything else happening. Of course, everyone knew the peace couldn't last for long.  
  
Suddenly the doors of the bomb shelter were blown up with a big, "KABLEWIE!!" And OZ soldiers began running in. The GW boys drew their guns. The girls, however, stood there, looking bored.  
  
Then a shadowy figure entered the room. It was noticeably female. Taking off her helmet, the boy's jaws dropped.  
  
"Lady UNE!?" they screamed in disbelief.  
  
Wufei grinned. "Your first name is Middie!" Everyone stared at him, sweatdropping. Lady Une developed a twitching vein in her temple.  
  
"How . . . did . . . you know that?" she asked through gritted teeth.  
  
Akkiko and Kat grinned. Simultaneously they reached behind themselves and brought out. . .  
  
A book!  
  
"Gundam Wing: Episode Zero!" they shrieked "The best graphic novel in the world!"  
  
Lady Une (a.k.a. Middie) scowled. "Little girls, give me those books-now!" She whipped out a gun. "Or else I'll shoot you!"  
  
The grins on Kat's and Akkiko's face disappeared. "Did she just call us what I think she called us?" Kat growled to the others.  
  
Meg and the pilots nodded. "Well then," Akkiko said pleasantly. "Kat, shall we teach the woman that we are not little girls?"  
  
Kat nodded. "Yes, let's. Meg, want to join us?"  
  
Meg, who was standing in a dark corner, her head surrounded by a huge sweatdrop, shook her head. "No thanks, I'll be over here if anyone needs me."  
  
Kat and Akkiko grinned. Then . . . they went into full-blown demon mode (come on, you had to be expecting that)  
  
Poor Middie . . . she never had a chance.  
  
(A/N: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I leave you with another cliff-hanger!  
  
Akkiko: NNNNNOOOOOO!! DAMN YOU!!  
  
Meg: Kat, you should know better than to cut this stuff off like that. Akkiko can't handle it.  
  
Akkiko: OH THE HUMANITY!!!  
  
Kat: Whoops.)  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, nor do I own Akkiko or Meg. I DO own Gundam Wing: Episode Zero, though!! *clutching book to her chest* I love it! If you haven't read it-do yourself a favour! Read it! It's awesome!!  
  
Akkiko: What's with the promotion of literature?  
  
Kat: Because it's fun, and it's a good book, and-  
  
Akkiko: I get it, I get it *clamps hand over Kat's mouth* 


	5. Time to relax Demon Style!

(A/N: I baaaaaack! BWAHAHAH!! Um. . . . . . *sweatdrops from glares from readers* Anyways, here we are!!  
  
*flashback*  
  
"Little girls, give me those books-now!" Middie whipped out a gun. "Or else I'll shoot you!"  
  
The grins on Kat's and Akkiko's face disappeared. "Did she just call us what I think she called us?" Kat growled to the others.  
  
Meg and the pilots nodded. "Well then," Akkiko said pleasantly. "Kat, shall we teach the woman that we are not little girls?"  
  
Kat nodded. "Yes, let's. Meg, want to join us?"  
  
Meg, who was standing in a dark corner, her head surrounded by a huge sweatdrop, shook her head. "No thanks, I'll be over here if anyone needs me."  
  
Kat and Akkiko grinned. Then . . . the went into full-blown demon mode (come on, you had to be expecting that)  
  
Poor Middie . . . she never had a chance.  
  
*Continuing on. . . .*  
  
Middie sweatdropped as the two *seemingly* ordinary girls transformed into demon-thingies. "The heck-" was all she could get out as they lunged at her. Grabbing under her arms, Akkiko and Kat flew off, out of the bomb shelter.  
  
The OZ soldiers stood around, confused, still aiming at the pilots. "So . . . what do we do now?" one asked his partner.  
  
"I have no idea," he answered, when Meg suddenly popped up between them, holding a tray.  
  
"Tea?" she said. "And I also have cookies!"  
  
"Sweet!" Duo leaned over and grabbed a cookie, still hot from the oven.  
  
"So where did Kat and Akkiko go with . . . Middie!" Wufei giggled. Everyone shuddered at the sound.  
  
Trowa raised an eyebrow at him. "You know something? I think you just like saying that."  
  
Wufei grinned again. "What? Middie?" He giggled again. "No, I don't like saying . . . Middie! . . . At all! Really! Saying "Middie!" does nothing to affect me. It's just a name, after all . . . Lady Une's name . . . but . . . um." He couldn't contain himself anymore. He burst out laughing, rolling on the floor, tears falling down his cheeks. "Middie! Of all the first names to have, she got Middie! Oh, how I pity her!" He rolled out of the room, continuing to laugh.  
  
Meg sweatdropped. "Is he going to be okay?"  
  
Quatre nodded. "Yeah, he should be just fine." He bit into a cookie before anyone could stop him.  
  
Duo dropped his cookie. "Oh . . . no. . ." he said. "Quatre just had sugar!!"  
  
"RUN FOR THE HILLS!!" The other pilots screamed, and ran off, picking up a surprised Meg as they went.  
  
The OZ soldiers sweatdropped. "Uh . . . what just happened?"  
  
Quatre started to shake. "Sugar . . . processing!" he said in a cheerful voice. Then . . . he went into hyperactive mode. (For respect of the reader, I have edited out the next part)  
  
The chaos and carnage that followed this incident was brutal. Every OZ soldier present was scarred for life. To make matters worse, Kat and Akkiko showed up in the middle of it and *helped* Quatre cause mass destruction. When it was over, Meg and the pilots approached very cautiously.  
  
"Do you think they've gone to sleep?" Meg asked.  
  
"We can only hope," Heero said.  
  
"Oh, no, we left Wufei in there!" Duo said  
  
"I'm sure he can handle himself," Heero said, raising his gun.  
  
"HEEEEEEEEELLPPPP MEEEEEEEEE!!" A sudden scream was heard from inside.  
  
"That sounds like a certain ponytail-ed Chinaman we both know and. . .Tolerate," Duo said, venturing in. "Sounds like he's in trouble."  
  
"Ya think?" Meg said sarcastically. "What told you first: the undeniable fear in the scream that just issued or the fact he's dressed in pink?"  
  
Pilots= O_O*****  
  
Meg ran over what she had just said and blinked a few times at the scene in front of her. Wufei was, indeed, dressed in pink, tied to a chair with duck tape (which was also colored pink). Kat was putting on lipstick near by *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* and was still in demonmode.  
  
Wufei saw the pilots and Meg and made furious motions with his head that translated into, "For the love of God, get me out of here and away from that insane onna!!!!!!!"  
  
Everyone blinked. Then Duo stuffed his braid into his mouth. Trowa raised an eyebrow at him. "What's so funny?"  
  
Duo extracted the braid for a second to say, "Wufei's in pink!" The hair went back into his mouth.  
  
Trowa blinked and opened his mouth to begin what promised to be a grand explosion of laughter, but Meg and Heero snapped their hands over his mouth.  
  
"SSSHHH!!" Meg hissed. "If we're quiet, we may get out of here unscarred and un-PINK-ified!"  
  
"Let's find Quatre and run," Heero suggested.  
  
Meg thought for a moment. "No, we should get Wufei out, too. After all, he's the innocent one here."  
  
Duo snorted and tried to speak. Finding the braid still in his mouth, he pulled it out. "Wufei? Innocent? Don't make me-" He glanced in Wufei's direction. "PINK!" Four heads turned to glare at him. He gasped and restuffed the braid. Everyone paled and swung their heads in Kat's direction.  
  
Kat's ears pricked as she looked over at where the others were hiding. She grinned. "Who's the-re?" she said in a sing-song voice.  
  
Everyone shivered, except Heero. Meg noticed this. "Doesn't that totally freak you out?" She asked.  
  
Heero shrugged. "Whatever."  
  
A little 'thought' bubble appeared over Meg's head. Wheels churned around for a bit, and then a little light bulb appeared. "Heero, c'mere."  
  
She whispered in the stoic's ear for a minute and he drew back. "Mission NOT accepted!" he hissed.  
  
Meg rolled her eyes. "But it's the only thing that'll work! Beside, you're immune!"  
  
"Uh, guys? Our little dark-angel/were-Kat/demon friend in approaching at an alarming rate here!" Trowa hissed over his shoulder.  
  
Kat peeked over the bit of debris they had been hiding behind. She saw. . .  
  
~~~  
  
Meg, Duo and Trowa all made a break down a hall, looking for Quatre and Akkiko.  
  
"Should we really have left Heero back there?" Trowa asked.  
  
"Um. . ." Meg was suddenly cut off by a squeal.  
  
"HEERO!" The single word came from a certain insane teenage girl who was currently in demonmode, and who is coincidently a heroine of this story *cough*cough*  
  
"I think he'll live," Duo said thoughtfully. "I mean, Kat can't be any worse than Relena."  
  
They continued on. . .  
  
~~~  
  
Kat yawned. "So . . . what do you want to do now? We've used up all the pictures."  
  
Heero grinned. "I still have one left." He held up a picture of Relena.  
  
Kat brightened. "Sweet!" She grabbed it and walked outside the bomb shelter. Two minutes later she ran back in, and there was a big "KABLAMMO!!"  
  
"WHOO-HOO!!" Kat and Heero whooped, running outside, and looking straight up. A rocket was currently heading out into space. . .  
  
"Yes! Another picture of the annoying witch launched into the ionosphere!" Kat said gleefully.  
  
"I just thought of something-what exactly is the point to all this?"  
  
Kat grinned at Heero. "For when we do it to the real thing."  
  
Heero laughed. "Usually I don't like hanging out with girls, but I think I could get used to you three."  
  
Kat grinned, then looked around. "Hey-where're the others?"  
  
Heero rolled his eyes. "Wufei is in the corner, trying to salvage his manhood-"  
  
"OH THE HUMANITY!!" came a tortured scream from inside, as a certain Chinaman sat huddled in a dark corner, still in pink clothes.  
  
"-Meg, Duo and Trowa are looking for Akkiko and Quatre, who are-"  
  
"They're doing WHAT??" Suddenly Kat grabbed Heero's arm and dragged him back into the bomb shelter at light speed.  
  
~~~  
  
Needless to say, they arrived a little late. . .  
  
Imagine if you will:  
  
Trowa in pink.  
  
Duo in pink.  
  
Meg in pink *although this isn't ENTIRELY weird, she has dressed in pink before*  
  
Akkiko tying Trowa up with duck tape.  
  
Quatre passed out on the floor with a sugar hangover.  
  
Kat sweatdropped. "I'm reminded of fond memories from Yu-Gi-Oh," she muttered, and her cell phone rang. "H'lo?" She nearly dropped it. "BAKURA? What the HELL-mmff!" Kat suddenly found Heero's hand on her mouth.  
  
"Can you freak out QUIETER?" He hissed. Kat nodded.  
  
"Bakura no baka, why the heck are you calling me?"  
  
"Because I'm bored. Sending people to the Shadow Realm gets really old after a while."  
  
"Well, you caught me at a bad time."  
  
"Who're you talking to?" Heero asked suspiciously.  
  
"Um-he's an-er . . . friend?" Kat suddenly found the phone out of her hands and in Heero's. . .  
  
"Who is this?" he asked . . . dangerously.  
  
"Eh? I'm Kat's boyfriend, Bakura-""  
  
"You are NOT my boyfriend!" Kat shrieked.  
  
Akkiko looked up. "Ooh . . . fresh meat."  
  
"Eep." Kat snatched her cell back. "Bakura, hon, I'll call you back, 'kay?" She hung up before he could answer. She and Heero began running down a hallway, Akkiko hot on their trail.  
  
"Come out my pretties!" Akkiko shrieked in her creepy Wicked-Witch-of-the- West voice.  
  
"Like Hell we will," Kat muttered. She and Heero had barricaded themselves in a cupboard.  
  
"Kat, could you get your elbow out of my face?"  
  
"Sorry." It was . . . a little cramped.  
  
"So . . . who exactly is Bakura?"  
  
"He's not my boyfriend. That's just him being obsessive."  
  
"Want me to shoot him?"  
  
"Heero, baby, that's sweet, but no, I don't think so."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"KAT! HEERO! Get your *beep*in' arses out here!" Akkiko yelled.  
  
"Hey, it sounds like Akkiko's out of demonmode!" Kat reached for the cupboard door, but she was stopped by Heero.  
  
"Why can't I shoot this guy?" he demanded.  
  
"Because he's a crazed five thousand year old spirit living in a charm, possessing the body of a wussy high-schooler and he has the power to send any human he wants into total oblivion."  
  
Silence. Heero cleared his throat. "And. . .How is that so different from me?"  
  
Kat sweatdropped. "Why do you want to shoot him, anyway?"  
  
"Because-"  
  
Suddenly the cupboard door opened, and there stood Meg, Trowa, Duo, and Wufei (still in pink). Quatre was still passed out . . . somewhere. Akkiko grinned in Kat's face.  
  
"WELL! Isn't this cosy?" she said annoyingly. "So, KAT. . . what happened while you two were in here all alone?"  
  
Kat flushed. "NOTHING!" she screeched, jumped out. "And if you're implying what I think you're implying, Akkiko-get your *BEEP*in' mind out of the gutter!" She stalked off.  
  
Akkiko cleaned out her ear. "Christ, that girl has good lungs." Then she noticed Heero was giving her the famous "Zero Death Glare". "What?"  
  
"You interrupted. . . 'A Moment'," Heero said.  
  
'Uh-oh,' Akkiko thought. 'He sounds pissed.' "I think I'm going to run now," she said, and did just that.  
  
"Good call," Heero growled, and turned to the others. "You're next."  
  
Everybody gave an audible "EEP!" and scattered.  
  
In the distance, Heero heard Akkiko. "My little baby's ALL grown up!!" Insert Kat's rantings of denial here. Heero sighed and scuffed his shoe against the floor. Suddenly he heard. . . Zechs and Trieze?!  
  
He sweatdropped, then looked around the corner, pulling out his gun. He was about to fire when he caught what Zechs was saying.  
  
"So after I ran away from Relena, I came here. How you wind up here?"  
  
"Came with Lady Une. . . wonder what happened to her. . ."  
  
"Do you really want to know? You saw what those . . . thingies did to the OZ soldiers."  
  
Trieze went rather pale. "Um . . . on second thought, farewell Lady Une, I knew you well!"  
  
"Well, we'd better leave."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Dorothy's on her way."  
  
"So what? That's no big deal."  
  
"Relena's with her."  
  
Heero sweatdropped, then ran away screaming.  
  
Zechs looked and Trieze, then shrugged.  
  
"Cookie?" Trieze asked, passing a box to Zechs.  
  
(A/N: Well, another chapter done! I have so many ideas for this fic; it's going to be awesome!  
  
Akkiko: Then why don't you write it?  
  
Kat: BECAUSE . . . uh . . . I don't know.  
  
Akkiko: Idiot.  
  
Kat: Gotta go-Akkiko, I want you to meet someone! This is Mr. AXE!!)  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, only the plot. 


	6. Enter an Ominous Figure

(Some of the events in this chapter are true, scarily enough, and I thought it would be amusing if I incorporated them into the story. BWA HAHAHAHA!!!)  
  
Meg and Kat woke up to find an empty bomb shelter. Actually, it wasn't entirely empty. . .  
  
"I . . . feel . . . dead," Quatre said, dragging himself out of his room. Meg looked at Kat.  
  
"Worst case of sugar hangover I've ever seen," she said.  
  
Kat grinned. "Not really. Remember Akkiko's birthday?"  
  
Meg shuddered. "Not really. I missed a few parts 'cause I blanked out in terror."  
  
"So where is everyone?" The two girls went into the kitchen. On the table they found a note.  
  
"Dear Kat, Meg, and Quatre (if he's conscious),  
  
Went into town to get some supplies. At 2100 tonight, we're locking down the shelter. Relena is coming! Be afraid-be VERY afraid-  
  
Kat turned to Meg. "Three guesses who wrote this."  
  
Meg started to count off her fingers. "Akkiko, Akkiko, and, let's see- Akkiko."  
  
"See you tonight, love from Akkiko and Gundam pilots."  
  
BOO-YA!" Meg said. "I am SOOO good!"  
  
"So whaddaya want to do now?" Kat asked.  
  
A groan reached their ears. "EEK!" Both girls shrieked. "What the HELL?"  
  
A certain blonde Arabian dragged himself into the kitchen. "Coffee-coffee!" he pleaded pathetically.  
  
The two girls grabbed all coffee cans available. "No coffee for you!!" they shrieked.  
  
Kat noticed the glimmer in Meg's eyes and snatched away all of her coffee cans. "No coffee for you either!!" Meg pouted and went into a corner.  
  
Kat ran off to hide the coffee, leaving Quatre and Meg to their own devices. "Quatre? Are you . . . alive?"  
  
Quatre didn't say anything, kind of. All that issued from his mouth was unintelligible babble that sounded kind of like this: "Humina humina humina . . ."  
  
Meg sighed. "Yeah, I know, it sucks that Kat took away all the coffee, doesn't it?"  
  
More babble.  
  
"No, I don't think we should gang up on her."  
  
Kat entered the kitchen once more. "Meg? You understand Babble?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm, uh, fluent in it," the brunette said. Quatre mumbled something.  
  
"So what did he just say?" Kat asked.  
  
"Uh . . . coffee is our friend?" Meg grinned. "Maybe we should humour the poor boy."  
  
Kat walked back out of the kitchen, expressionless mask in place. "Nice try, Meg. You aren't getting the coffee that easily, though."  
  
"DAMN!!" Meg picked up the note Akkiko had left and scanned it again. "Hey, Kat-"  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"What did they mean, Relena's coming?"  
  
Kat rolled her eyes. "Don't you remember the meeting we had last night?"  
  
Meg thought for a moment. Enter cheesy 'flashback' music where the screen goes all wavy-  
  
*flashback*  
  
"GUYS!!" Heero screamed as he burst into the room where the others were waiting. Everyone jumped, except Akkiko, who was being strangled, and Kat, who was doing the strangling.  
  
"Stop-teasing-me-dammit!!"  
  
"But-it's-soo-easy-ack-loosen the grip!! Loosen the grip!!"  
  
Duo stared at Heero, scared. "You aren't going to kill us, are you?"  
  
"Maybe-later," Heero gasped. "Until then, we have an emergency!!"  
  
"What emergency?" Meg asked, sweatdropping at her two insane friends.  
  
"Dorothy's coming!"  
  
"So?" Akkiko said, dusting her hands off. Kat lingered in the corner, unable to move.  
  
"Relena's with her."  
  
The Gundam pilots and Akkiko stiffened and started for the exit. Meg and Kat blocked their way.  
  
"Oh, come on, you big babies! You drive homicidal machines of death every day and save the world-"  
  
"Not to mention that you, Akkiko, are a demon-"  
  
"And you're biggest fear is one loud-mouth girl?!"  
  
The Gundam pilots (and Akkiko) contemplated this for a moment. "YES!!" they said, so loudly that Kat and Meg fell over, little squiggles for eyes. They turned to the door to find it boarded up with planks.  
  
"What the HELL?" they shrieked. Kat hid a hammer behind her back. Meg threw a bag of nails in the corner.  
  
"KAT!! MEG!!"  
  
"Heh heh." The two girls waited for the insanity to abate . . .  
  
(Two hours later)  
  
"RELENA'S COMING AND WE CAN'T GET OUT!!" The pilots screamed.  
  
"Think it's time to call in the navy yet?" Meg asked Kat dully. They were playing dominoes in the corner.  
  
"Nah, give 'em another half hour."  
  
(One hour later)  
  
"Ready to formulate a plan yet?"  
  
The G-Wing pilots sat around, exhausted. Akkiko was still bouncing off the walls, though. . .  
  
"Sure-why not? We're screwed anyway." Duo said, biting the end of his braid.  
  
"So, how do we keep Relena out of here?"  
  
"I suggest a barricade!" Akkiko squealed. She had abandoned all traces of being scared, and was now merely hyper . . . God help us all.  
  
"Barricade sounds good!" Heero said, and got up, wrenched the door open (despite the nails and boards), and went into the hallway.  
  
Everyone sweatdropped. Kat stood up, her eyes little hearts. "That's my boy!"  
  
*end flashback*  
  
"And after that, we decided that we would grab some supplies, and then completely shut down all communications with the outside." Kat finished.  
  
"Ah," Meg said, and glanced around at the passed-out Quatre. "And so they left us with HIM?!"  
  
"Yep." Kat took out a deck of cards. "Poker?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
~~~  
  
And so, for the rest of the day, Meg and Kat played poker (regular poker, not the striping type).  
  
At about seven o'clock, they heard a CRASH!! from the hall.  
  
"They're ba-ack!" Kat said dully, and laid out a royal flush.  
  
"Damn!" Meg said, and pushed over an artichoke they had found in the freezer. "You know, playing with fruit sucks."  
  
"Yep." Kat nodded. Suddenly, Akkiko bounced in, grinning like a maniac, which she is, anyway.  
  
"Hey, Akkiko," Meg said. When there was no reply, the two girls looked up. Akkiko stood there, grinning. Meg and Kat sweatdropped. "Why are you smiling like that?"  
  
Akkiko blushed. "The Gundam Pilots took advantage of me while we were gone."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Well, for lunch I had two cans of iced tea and some brownies, so I was already on sugar high."  
  
"Oh . . . THAT kind of taking advantage of. Heh heh." Kat and Meg sweatdropped.  
  
"Yep! Then . . . Duo thought it would be funny to get some more sugar into me. He went over to the pop machine, and came back, a can of iced tea in his hand. Being naïve, I drank it. Then I proceeded to. . ." Akkiko counted off her fingers. "I hugged Heero; I hugged Trowa; I ran down the streets, screaming, 'the world it going to end'; I kissed Wufei, Zechs showed up, so I kissed him too; I kissed Duo on the cheek; I hugged Duo; I went up to a complete stranger and said, 'HI! I'm Insane.' BTW, now I know a guy named Mark. And . . . yep that covers it."  
  
Kat raised an eyebrow. "So . . . what did we learn?"  
  
Akkiko thought for a moment. "Next time, try four cans."  
  
Kat sighed and whacked her forehead. (A/N: This was a true incident, scary as that is. BTW, 'Mark' is a real guy-no, I have never met him . . . nor do I have any wishes to)  
  
Akkiko continued grinning. Meg waved a hand in front of her face, and our favourite demon spontaneously collapsed. Kat and Meg blinked.  
  
"Great. Now we have two people in this shelter suffering from sugar hangover," Meg said.  
  
"Yes, fun, isn't it?" Kat sighed, and the two of them resignedly dragged the snoring Akkiko into their room.  
  
~~~  
  
Not too far away from the bomb shelter, Relena sat with Dorothy. "So, Mr. Ominous Figure," the vice-foreign Minister asked a cloaked figure (who, by the way, was ominous!) "How can you help us?"  
  
"I can get the Gundam pilots for you very easily, miss." Had Meg, Akkiko, or Kat been around, they would have recognized the voice right away.  
  
"And how is that?" Dorothy asked, holding binoculars to her eyes. "They've completely shut down the bomb shelter. Not even a fly could get in there now."  
  
"Oh . . . I have my ways." The figure stood up and pushed his hood back. The moonlight shone off glasses, and Erikson chuckled . . . ominously.  
  
(A/N: This was a terribly short chapter, but anyways-until next time!  
  
Akkiko: NOOOOO!! You can't just STOP!!  
  
Kat: Wanna bet? Good-bye!)  
  
(Author's Note 2: For those of you who are confused by who Erikson is, he is one of my muses! For more material about him, check out Akira_Yai_Hiro's 'Travels of the Trio' *the first one*!)  
  
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing does not belong to me . . . once again. 


	7. Hotwiring the Gundams

That evening, everyone went to bed as usual; the boys to their rooms and the girls to theirs. Normal *but we all know things couldn't stay that way for long ^_^*  
  
Under the cover of darkness, a certain *ominous* figure crept up to the bomb shelter. Erikson threw off his cloak and glared at the anti-Relena Security measures that had been installed that night.  
  
How exactly he did it, no one knows (the cameras had been disabled) but the annoying little cretin bypassed the booby traps and blast doors in the bomb shelter. He went into the boiler room; coincidentally, it was the same room that contained a box with a latched door on it-the opening to the air- conditioning system.  
  
Erikson opened the door, then took a capsule of sleeping gas out of his coat-pocket. He whistled and nonchalantly dropped it into the duct.  
  
"Whoops," he chuckled, slamming the door shut. He went over to a computer that controlled all the systems in the bomb shelter and turned on the air- conditioning system.  
  
Five seconds later, even Duo, who had been up watching Sunday-night football was asleep. Everyone else who had already dozed off was now sawing logs, and they wouldn't wake up for . . . a while.  
  
Erikson rubbed his hands together. "Alright," he said *his habit of talking to himself is very creepy* "Time for Operation Kidnap to commence!" As he ran down the hall containing the bedrooms, he gave a diabolical laugh: "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!"  
  
"That's MY laugh!" Akkiko yelled. Erikson froze and went over to the room where Akkiko, Kat and Meg were unconscious in. The door was wide open. He sweatdropped.  
  
Akkiko was sitting up in bed, still totally asleep. A few minutes later she started to drool and collapsed onto the pillow.  
  
Kat turned over. "She's so protective of her laugh," the girl muttered, still sleeping.  
  
Erikson shuddered. "These dams are scary."  
  
"No shit," Meg snored.  
  
~~~  
  
(The next morning)  
  
Kat woke up and dragged herself out of bed. Sleeping gas or no sleeping gas, she always got up at 5 am sharp (A/N: Yeah, I just made that up-there is NO way I would be that crazy). Going out into the kitchen, she saw another note-the paper being pink.  
  
Despite its pinkness, she picked it up and read:  
  
"Dear Kat, Meg and Akkiko,  
  
"I have kidnapped the Gundam Wing pilots! If you want them back, come alone to the bomb shelter 500 hundred kilometres north of here! BWAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
"Love from, Erikson."  
  
Kat raised an eyebrow at the note. She read it five more times, trying to get her brain to compute: Erikson, dumb-ass Erikson, annoying-cretin Erikson, had kidnapped the men in control of the five most destructive weapons on the planet?  
  
(One hour later)  
  
Finally, it clicked: The boys had been kidnapped by Erikson. Why he had kidnapped them, and how the hell he had pulled it off was a mystery to Kat, but she decided to just go with it.  
  
"MEG! AKKIKO!!" She yelled, crashing into their room. The two other girls groaned. Meg looked at her alarm clock, then at Kat.  
  
"Kat, I love you like a sister, and usually I don't harbour any negative thoughts towards you *cough* *cough* but when you wake me up a 6 in the frickin' morning, I may have to resort to drastic measures." Groggily, and moving slowly, the brunette brought an axe from the no-where, and raised it in the air.  
  
"Um, Meg? I'm over here," said a familiar voice about five feet to her left. Meg turned, squinting at Kat, who was sweatdropping.  
  
"Yeah, right," she said, and raised the axe again. Kat held up the note.  
  
"The GW boys have been kidnapped." Meg dropped the axe, and Akkiko sat up.  
  
"WHAT!?"  
  
"How?" Akkiko asked, dumbfounded.  
  
"And by whom?" Meg screeched.  
  
"I have no idea," Kat said. "As for by whom: Erikson."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Erikson?" Akkiko asked.  
  
"Dumb-ass Erikson?" Meg wondered aloud.  
  
"Annoying-cretin Erikson?" they said together.  
  
They sat, brains slowly shutting down; a few minutes later they started to drool. Kat sighed.  
  
"THIS . . . is going to take a while," she said.  
  
~~~  
  
(One hour later)  
  
"Okay, so we know that Erikson has kidnapped our boyfriends," Akkiko said. They were dressed and ready to leave. "But how the hell did he pull it off?"  
  
"And why did he do it?" Meg asked.  
  
"No clue," Kat shrugged.  
  
"But he's YOUR muse!" Meg and Akkiko screamed at her. Kat fell over, eyes little squiggles.  
  
Akkiko sighed. "Come on," she said, and the two girls half-dragged, half- carried the unconscious Kat to the part of the bomb shelter where the Gundams were kept.  
  
"Whew," Meg said, relieved. "Erikson didn't take the machines of ultimate destruction."  
  
"Do you really think he's that intelligent?" Akkiko quipped.  
  
Meg thought for a moment. "You're right; that's giving him WAY too much credit."  
  
"So how are we going to get to this place," Kat asked, waving the note *quick recovery!* "It says its 500 kilometres from here! Not exactly a distance I'm up to walking!"  
  
"Me either," Akkiko said. She was staring at the Gundams. "So how are we. . ."  
  
"Going to get there . . . ?" Meg finished. The two girls glanced at Kat, who was wearing a demonic, but ultimately happy, expression.  
  
"I'm going to hot-wire the Gundams!" she said brightly, and brought a pair of pliers out of her pocket.  
  
Meg and Akkiko stared at each other. "NNNNOOOOOO!!!"  
  
~~~  
  
(In another bomb shelter, 500 km away)  
  
Duo opened his eyes, then closed them again. He was so comfortable where he was-  
  
WHACK! "Wake up you baka!" Heero said. Duo scrunched up his face and rolled over.  
  
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!  
  
"Duo, this isn't the time for sleeping!" Quatre said.  
  
"Maxwell, get your braided ass awake!" Trowa near-shouted.  
  
"Only a weak onna would be asleep at a time like this," Wufei commented, his tone disgusted.  
  
Duo sat up. "Alright already, I'm awake!" He stretched. "Jeez, you guys can be cranky. . ." He trailed off as he realized he wasn't in his bed. Questions ran through his head: Where was he? How did he get to this bed- less place? Where the HELL was his teddy bear?!  
  
"Uh . . . Guys?" he started to ask.  
  
"We're in another bomb shelter," Heero started.  
  
"Having been kidnapped by an unknown ominous figure," Trowa continued.  
  
"Who was working with Relena and Dorothy," Quatre finished.  
  
Duo blinked. "And. . .So where is my teddy bear?" he muttered. He looked around at the cell he and the other pilots were in; the walls on three sides were bars.  
  
"What did you say?" Wufei asked. All the pilots stared at Duo, who sweatdropped.  
  
"Uh-nothing!"  
  
"Looking for this?" An *ominous* voice asked. The boys looked up, to see a boy about their age with pimples, glasses and red hair. He was holding a teddy bear.  
  
Duo flung himself at the bars. "GIVE BACK MR. CUDDLES!!" he screamed.  
  
Wufei snickered. "Mr. Cuddles?"  
  
The red-haired boy reached behind him and brought out a blanket. "Look familiar?"  
  
Wufei paled. "That's . . . my . . . blankie." He, too, flung himself at the bars. "Give back my blankie!"  
  
Heero rolled his eyes and reached for his gun. It wasn't in its usual place.  
  
"I've taken away all your weapons, of course," the boy said.  
  
Trowa frowned. "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm Erikson! I'm one of Kat's muses-specifically the annoying one who tries to make her life a living hell."  
  
The pilots sweatdropped. Erikson laughed. "I can see you're all paralysed by fear."  
  
Quatre snorted; quite a un-Quatre-like thing to do. "Sorry for the bluntness, but: don't flatter yourself, buddy."  
  
Everyone stared at the Arabian. Duo patted him on the shoulder. "Go Winner! Nice burn!"  
  
Erikson fumed; he set down the teddy bear, blanket and guns a safe distance away and pushed an intercom button on the wall. "Miss Relena, they're all ready for you," he said.  
  
Heero's eyes widened. "You made a deal with Relena?"  
  
Erikson nodded, smiling sinisterly. "Yes: I'm turning you five over to her- specifically you, Mr. Yuy-in exchange for the chance to capture Kat, Meg and Akkiko when they come to save you."  
  
Quatre, Trowa, Duo and Wufei's jaws dropped. "Turn Heero over to Relena? For the love of God, DON'T DO IT!!"  
  
(A/N: Heh-that's a line borrowed from Slayers!)  
  
The door of the room opened. "Too late," Erikson said, "They're all yours, Miss Relena."  
  
"HEEEEEEEEERRRRROOOOOOO!!" Relena shrilled and threw herself at the Japanese pilot. Unfortunately *or fortunately, depends on how you look at it* she forgot about the bars. CLANG!!  
  
"Miss Relena, are you alright?" Dorothy cried, making her way to the princess.  
  
Erikson and the pilots sweatdropped. *Maybe this was a bad idea . . .* Erikson thought.  
  
The pilots crowded together. "How're we going to warn the girls they're heading into a trap?" Duo asked.  
  
Wufei cocked an eyebrow at him. "Maxwell, do you really think these three idiots can come up with something destructive enough to hurt those three?"  
  
Everyone thought for a moment, and glanced at Erikson, Relena and Dorothy. They shuddered.  
  
"I almost feel sorry for them," Heero said.  
  
~~~  
  
"Well, that does it!" Kat said cheerfully.  
  
"You've finished hotwiring them?" Akkiko asked dubiously, staring at the Gundams. They looked the same.  
  
Kat nodded. "Yep; they are now under our control!"  
  
"Uh, guys?" Meg asked. "Let's count-there are ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR-FIVE Gundams, and only ONE-TWO-THREE of us." She spoke slowly, as if to kindergarteners.  
  
Akkiko and Kat sweatdropped at her. "Meg, we can count, for God's sakes!" Akkiko snapped.  
  
"But the numbers don't add up!" Meg protested.  
  
"Don't you think I've thought of that?" Kat asked, annoyed. She held up a control. "We'll all be flying our boyfriends- *cough*cough*-suits."  
  
"So what about Nataku and Sandrock?" Akkiko asked. "You can control them with that?" She pointed to the control.  
  
Kat smiled a little; she turned away and pushed a few buttons on the control, then started fiddling with the joy-stick. Akkiko and Meg stared at her for a few minutes, but when it was obvious Kat wasn't paying any attention to them they directed their gaze to the two pilot-less Gundams. Their jaws dropped; Nataku and Sandrock were WALTZING?!  
  
"I think I've got it covered," Kat said calmly, playing with the controller like she was manipulating a toy car.  
  
Akkiko stared at her in awe. "Kat, I have to admit, you are a *BEEP*in' genius."  
  
"Thanx!" Kat said. "Now, then-who's for saving the guys?"  
  
Akkiko stuck her hand in the air. "I AM!"  
  
"ME TOO!" Meg followed suit, and in an eye blink the two girls were off to their respective boyfriends' Gundams.  
  
Kat grinned. "Hang onto your butts," she said, and she headed for Wing Zero.  
  
(A/N: I know, this is an extraordinarily short chapter, but hey-it was hilarious, wasn't it? *sighs* Almost finished, but I really should go and work on some other stuff. Byes!)  
  
Disclaimer: Us own Gundam Wing? *laughs hysterically* Yeah, right. 


	8. Trio to the Rescue! sort of

"WHEEE!!!" Akkiko shrieked as she made Heavyarms fly through the air faster and faster.  
  
Meg and Kat sweatdropped. "Was it really a good idea to put a demon inside a machine with Vulcan cannons, machine cannons, homing missiles, and micro missiles?" Meg asked.  
  
"I- " Kat was cut off as Akkiko whizzed past screaming, "All will kneel before me!" The demon proceeded to laugh in her scary Wicked-witch-of-the- west voice.  
  
"I don't think so," Kat finished. "What were we thinking?"  
  
She fiddled the joystick in her lap, making Wing Zero go faster. Catching up with Akkiko, she flipped the switch that turned on the communications system. "Akkiko no baka?" she said calmly as a picture of her insane friend popped up on a little screen.  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"Can I ask you to please set down?"  
  
"Awww. . . but why?"  
  
Meg appeared on a separate screen and began counting off her fingers. "You pose a threat to the world as we know it, you're driving without a licence- "  
  
"And I'm not the only one!" Akkiko snapped.  
  
"-You're disturbing the peace, you're crazy-"  
  
"But we're ALL crazy!" Akkiko pouted.  
  
"And, most important of all-YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT!!"  
  
Silence. Kat and Akkiko stared at the screen.  
  
"Uh. .. Meg? We always scare you. You're very . . . scareable." Kat pointed out.  
  
Meg glared. "Then YOU come up with reasons to make her stop flying the *BEEP*in' Gundam!!" Meg's screen switched off.  
  
Kat sighed. "Akkiko, you're switching suits."  
  
"Why?" Akkiko whined.  
  
"Because I said so. And if you don't, I'll start using Heavyarms as my puppet-you won't be able to drive it at all."  
  
Akkiko was shocked. "Not . . .able. . .to drive. . .Heavyarms .. . ?" she whispered, beads of tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "But-but-I WANNA DRIVE!!" She started bawling.  
  
Kat relented quickly, in an effort to protect her eardrums. "Okay, okay, OKAY!!" She rubbed her ears. "You can keep driving him, but ONLY if you quit acting like a total moron."  
  
Akkiko perked up. "OKAY!!" She said, and took off at light speed.  
  
"Uh . . . Akkiko? We're here." Kat pointed to the bomb shelter five feet below them.  
  
Akkiko turned Heavyarms around. "Already?" she said, surprised. "Wow."  
  
Kat and Meg sighed in unison.  
  
~~~  
  
"When are you going to let us go?" Duo asked dully.  
  
"When those three little girls show up," Erikson said casually.  
  
The five boys were still in the cage, Relena staring adoringly at Heero from two feet away. Heero, likewise, was staring at Relena, and praying the bars wouldn't suddenly disintegrate. Duo, Trowa, Wufei and Quatre were all bored, as was Dorothy, who was cleaning her nails. Erikson was leaning against the wall patiently.  
  
"Do you really think Kat, Meg and Akkiko are going to fall for any trap your puny mind comes up with?" Trowa asked Erikson.  
  
Dorothy cackled. "Oh, with the security measures we've installed, there's no way in hell your little girlfriends are getting near this room."  
  
"Hi, guys!"  
  
"Hello!"  
  
"Yo."  
  
Akkiko, Meg and Kat stood in the doorway of the room, looking evil (Akkiko), hyper (Meg) and bored (Kat).  
  
Kat took a step forward and sighed. "Erikson, what the hell were you thinking, kidnapping the GW boys? Were you on cr-what the hell?"  
  
The reason for her scream of shock was the fact that the cage the pilots were in, as well as the image of Relena, crackled and disappeared.  
  
Meg swore; Akkiko scowled. "A 3D digital image," the demon mused. "Clever work, Erikson. It even fooled me."  
  
The image of Erikson laughed. "Well, thank you very much. I couldn't have done it without Miss Catalonia's technology, though."  
  
Dorothy smiled. "Thanks to the technology my fortune bought, it is us that will have the last laugh!" She began laughing manically as the images of her and Erikson crackled and disappeared.  
  
The three girls were left to stare. "I . . . cannot . . . believe. . ." Kat began.  
  
"That . . . one . . . of . . . Erikson's plans. . ." Meg continued.  
  
"Actually WORKED!?" Akkiko screeched.  
  
Suddenly the floor opened beneath them. The three of them hovered for several minutes, where the girls looked very bored.  
  
"Only Erikson," Akkiko commented, and then screamed with Kat and Meg as they fell into oblivion.  
  
~~~  
  
The Gundam pilots sweatdropped as they watched the three girls fall through a trap door in the floor. They were in a secret chamber underneath the bomb shelter, locked in with Erikson, Dorothy and Relena. The room the digital images had been in was under surveillance, and that was how they could see what was going on at all times.  
  
"I can't believe that worked," Quatre commented, stunned.  
  
"Me neither," Duo muttered. "I would never have thought that jack-ass's half-baked idea would work."  
  
"I heard that!" Erikson snapped.  
  
"So where are they now?" Trowa asked.  
  
Dorothy looked at her watch. "They should be dropping in in three . . . two . . . one. . ." Across the room, three separate cages were waiting. On cue, three trap doors opened above them and deposited Kat, Meg and Akkiko.  
  
Erikson grinned. "Voila!" he said. "I have finally succeeded in capturing them!"  
  
Akkiko growled. "You're going to die as soon as I get out of here; you realize that, don't you?"  
  
Erikson shook a finger at her. "Aren't you forgetting something, Miss Demonchild? Look around you!"  
  
Akkiko glared around her cage and blanched. She shuddered and curled up into a little ball. "I. . .I'm in. . .a pink cage!" she whispered, and started to whimper, squeezing her eyes closed.  
  
~interruption~  
  
Akkiko: HEY!!  
  
Lily_Among_the_thorns_89: Kat, there's no need to be getting cruel.  
  
Dark-Angel-Shui-17: Oh, it gets better!  
  
Akkiko: I am very afraid now. Are you afraid? I'm afraid. We're all afraid.  
  
~end interruption~  
  
Meg sighed. "Well," she said. "I'm not afraid of pink, so it won't work on me. And I don't see the point of locking me in a glass box."  
  
Dorothy grinned. "Oh, that's because we thought of something even more heinous for you, Miss Sorceress."  
  
The top of the cage closed overtop of Meg, and after a few minutes she began screaming. No sound issued from the glass cage, though.  
  
"It's airtight," Erikson explained. Kat raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
"And. . .What are you doing to her?" she asked as Meg huddled in a corner, hands over her ears.  
  
Erikson held up a little remote. Pushing a button, the room filled with music.  
  
'My loneliness/ is killing me/ I must confess/ I still believe/ When I'm not with you/ I lose my mind/ Give me a sign/ Hit me baby/ One more time!!'  
  
The pilots all hunched over, hands on their ears.  
  
"What in the name of Nataku is that?!" Wufei demanded.  
  
"Actually, it's quite catchy," Relena commented, dancing a little to the beat.  
  
Dorothy and Erikson sweatdropped, taking off earmuffs as the music switched off.  
  
Kat yawned. "Death by Britney Spears music. How diabolical," she said dully. "But neither pink nor trashy music is going to affect me. Sorry, Erikson."  
  
Erikson grinned. "Oh, I now you're made of sterner stuff than that, Kat. That's why I have a plan H."  
  
"Plan H?" Dorothy raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Plan H?" the pilots took their hands off their ears.  
  
"Plan H?" Relena stopped dancing and looked very confused.  
  
"Plan . . . H?" Kat stared at Erikson, her eyes widening. "Waitaminute! Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?"  
  
"Oh, yeah!" Erikson pushed another button on the remote control. "Time to come out, Mr. Yuy!"  
  
A huge mechanical hand reached into the cage the GW pilots were in. It grabbed Heero and deposited him outside the cage. Relena squealed and immediately glomped him.  
  
"ACK!!" the perfect soldier made frantic movements to get away.  
  
Kat paled, hands tightening on the bars of her cage. "Why . . . you. . ." she seethed, shooting death-glares at Erikson.  
  
Erikson shrugged, grinning. "Hey, whatever works. Well, I think I'll leave you three to your various tortures. Miss Catalonia, will you escort me to the cafeteria?"  
  
"Of course." Dorothy opened the door and the two left.  
  
Heero continued to struggle in Relena's clutching, and after a few seconds succeeded in knocking her out.  
  
"Well," he said quietly. "It seems . . . that it is up to me!" And with that he held aloft . . . his pocket computer!!  
  
"Uh . . . Heero?" Duo asked.  
  
"What is it Duo?" Heero muttered absently, already tapping away at his little contraption.  
  
"You wear spandex and a tank top . . . where were you hiding that?" There were several minutes of silence. "On second thought, I don't want to know."  
  
Heero pushed a final button and went over to Akkiko's cage. "You can look up now," he said. Akkiko raised her head.  
  
"The . . . the pink is GONE!!" she said gleefully, and broke the bars without even breaking a sweat. "But . . . how?"  
  
Heero raised one eyebrow. "It wasn't really pink. It was an optical illusion caused by more digital technology."  
  
Akkiko fumed. "Okay, I need to go break something." She stalked over to the cage where the other pilots were being held and proceeded to break all the bars one by one.  
  
Heero sighed and went over to Meg's cage. He pushed a few more buttons on his computer and. . .  
  
"YES!! The evil music has ENDED!!" Meg sang, breaking out of her own cage. She glomped onto Heero. "Thank you thank you thank you!!"  
  
Heero sweatdropped. "Uh . . . Duo's over there," he said, pointing.  
  
Meg squealed and ran over to glomp her braided goofball, who glomped her back.  
  
"Heh. . . Erikson took away my teddy bear," Duo said. "Can I sleep with you instead?"  
  
Meg flushed. "Ah . . . the wonders of having a crush on a lech," she murmured, and the two of them started snogging.  
  
"Ew. . ." Akkiko said, then looked at Trowa. He paled. Akkiko sighed. "Can't you even pretend to like me?"  
  
"Uh . . . let me think." Trowa went into a 'thinking' position for a second. "NO!!"  
  
Akkiko looked crushed, then scowled. "Well . . . I hate weaklings!"  
  
Wufei blinked and stared at her. "You know, all of a sudden I see you in a whole now light."  
  
Akkiko grinned and glomped onto him. "Well, okay then!"  
  
Trowa flushed. "But-but-I LIKE HER!!"  
  
Akkiko and Wufei stared at him. "You DO?!"  
  
Trowa looked slightly flustered; he looked away. Akkiko looked at Wufei, then at Trowa, then at Wufei again.  
  
She shrugged. "Sorry, Wuffles!" she said cheerily, and went to glomp Trowa, who glomped her back.  
  
Heero watched these goings-on with a large sweatdrop on his head, then went over to Kat's cage. He opened the mechanical lock on it with his pocket computer and tapped her shoulder.  
  
"Kat?" he asked hesitantly. "Kat?"  
  
"She's-um . . . She's in shock from when she saw Relena glomp you," Meg said, pausing for a moment from her snog-fest with Duo.  
  
Heero sighed. "So how do I get her out of the shock?" he asked, prying Kat's hands from where they were clamped around the bars.  
  
Meg shrugged. "You might try the Sleeping Beauty technique."  
  
A question mark appeared over Heero's head. "Sleeping . . . Beauty?"  
  
"She means kiss her, you idiot," Akkiko called, pausing in her own . . . antics concerning Trowa (Wufei was huddled in the corner, looking disappointed).  
  
Heero paled, and then flushed. Then he leaned in and hesitantly kissed Kat on her lips. When he leaned back, she was completely red.  
  
"Whoa. . ." she said. "You . . . kissed me. Wow . . . you'd think I'd be used to it by now, after what happened with Bakura."  
  
Heero flushed. "What?" he said in a dangerous tone.  
  
Kat glanced at him; she got a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "Oh, didn't I tell you? We were at a dance and we went off to make out."  
  
Heero scowled, then got an idea. "Want to see which one of us is better?" he asked.  
  
Kat grinned. "'Kay." They went off to . . . uh . . . um. . .  
  
~interruption~  
  
Akkiko: Kat, you're doing it again.  
  
Kat: What?  
  
Akkiko: You're focusing on yourself too much.  
  
Kat: Alright, alright, picky, picky!  
  
~end interruption~  
  
Akkiko looked over at Wufei, who was still looked disappointed. "Oh, come here, you big baby!" she said, and grabbed him into one huge kiss.  
  
When she let go, Wufei stumbled away. "I think . . . you made me go brain dead," he commented.  
  
Akkiko smiled. "Yeah, I have that effect on guys."  
  
In the mean time, Meg and Duo were . . . er . . . the same thing Kat and Heero were doing!  
  
And so the afternoon progressed, peaceful as ever.  
  
# # #  
  
Ooh . . . almost finished! One more chapter! Erikson is going to get his! BWAHAHAHAHA!! Unfortunately, I can't finish it this week. I'm going to a writer's camp, and then Semester two is starting . . . grr, life isn't easy for a high school student.  
  
Oh well-later days!!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, or the Britney Spears Song "Baby One More Time". 


	9. On the Road Again

*Sighs* This is . . . the last chapter . . . of Travels of the Trio, Gundam Wing. How sad. *cries* I had soooo much fun working on this!! I had soooooo much fun terrorizing the characters!! I—  
  
Akkiko: Would you shut up and write already? *holds up paper fan*  
  
Meg: Yeah, let's get going!! *holds up frying pan*  
  
Kat: Geez, the author gets no respect.  
  
Erikson: Neither does the bad guy!!  
  
The three girls: Get OUT OF HERE, ERIKSON!!!!  
  
Erikson: EEK!! *runs away, turns to readers* See? I'm right!  
  
# # #  
  
Erikson and Dorothy sat in the cafeteria of the underground bomb shelter. "Miss Catalonia, I must thank you again for helping me catch those three delinquents."  
  
"Oh, that's quite alright. It was more Miss Relena's idea than mine to hire you."  
  
"Yes . . . about her. She's not completely . . . sane, it she?"  
  
Dorothy coughed. "Uh . . . no, no exactly." She checked her watch. "Well, do you think those three kids are done yet?"  
  
Erikson chuckled. "Let's leave them for a little longer."  
  
The two sat in silence for a few more minutes. Dorothy noticed Erikson turning slightly pink.  
  
"Mr. Erikson, is something wrong?" she asked.  
  
"Miss Dorothy. . ." Erikson stood. "I must say that your beauty has completely stolen away my breath! I know that you are devoted with your services to Relena, but I ask you—" He took one of Dorothy's hands and went down on one knee, "—I ask you to please, please come away with me!!!"  
  
Silence.  
  
Dorothy stared at him and started laughing. Erikson sweatdropped as she hammered her fist against the table and tears started flowing from her eyes.  
  
When she had calmed down enough, Dorothy cleared her throat. "Oh, Mr. Erikson, you can be so amusing, really."  
  
Erikson sighed. "I was being serious," he muttered.  
  
"You . . . were? PBBBTTT!!" Dorothy fell off the bench, laughing with a new energy.  
  
"Wow . . . she's laughing almost as hard as I did when you asked Aquia to the dance last year."  
  
Erikson gasped and turned. There stood Kat, whose arm was linked with Heero's. Behind her were Meg and Akkiko, their arms linked with Duo and Trowa. Quatre and Wufei brought up the rear, holding an unconscious Relena.  
  
Dorothy got a grip on herself and stood. "Miss Relena!!" she called. "Which one of you evil girls knocked her out."  
  
"That would be me," Heero said. "Although I am neither a girl nor evil."  
  
"Evilness is in the eye of the beholder!" Duo said brightly. Heero fixed the braided pilot with a glare.  
  
"Duo?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"ANY-ways. . ." Akkiko said. She reached behind her and raised a scythe. "Time for Erikson to go bye-bye."  
  
Erikson gulped. "Uh . . . bye-bye." He vanished with a small puff of smoke.  
  
Everyone blinked. "Where . . . did . . . he go?" Meg and Akkiko glared at Kat.  
  
"How am I supposed to know?" the harassed Dark Angel said.  
  
"HE'S YOUR MUSE!!!"  
  
"AAH!!" Kat crouched down as Meg and Akkiko started yelling. "I don't know where he went!! Maybe he's in the next world we're going to!!"  
  
Meg and Akkiko stopped. "We're going to another world?"  
  
"Yeah, didn't I mention that?" Kat looked up. "I knew we were leaving this world to go to another since I had the Millennium Necklace!"  
  
A vein pulsed in Akkiko's temple. "And you were telling us this . . . when, exactly?"  
  
"A-heh-heh. . ." Kat sweatdropped. "Well, I think we've caused enough damage here!"  
  
Suddenly they were outside. They blinked.  
  
"How did that happen?" Meg asked.  
  
Akkiko shrugged. "Whatever. Time to say goodbye." She turned to Trowa. "Good-bye, Trow—" She leaned in to hug him when Wufei pushed him out of the way.  
  
"Let me make this clear, Barton," Wufei said. "I want the girl."  
  
Silence. Quatre blinked. "Wait. Wufei is actually admitting he wants a girl."  
  
Duo felt dizzy. "Whoa . . . brain . . . overload!"  
  
Trowa glared. "Forget it, Chang! She's mine!"  
  
Akkiko blinked. "Wow. This is the first time I've had two guys fight over me . . . COOLNESS!!"  
  
Wufei drew his sword. "Draw your weapon, Barton!"  
  
Trowa took out his gun. "Okay." And the battle ensued.  
  
The bystanders all watched like they would a tennis match. Akkiko thought (A/N: Yes, she's thinking . . . AGAIN. Oooh. . .) 'Hmm, should I let them battle it out, making me look important until one of them is dead, or should I step in, stop the fight, and chose one of them the easy way? I tell ya, the first one is looking good right now.'  
  
Meg leaned over to Kat. "Maybe we should just sneak away now, while we still can."  
  
Kat nodded. "Hey Akkiko?"  
  
Akkiko looked lost in thought. "Feh?"  
  
"We're leaving now."  
  
"What?!" Akkiko looked at Kat in mild horror. "I can't leave now! I have two men fighting life and death for me!"  
  
Kat and Meg looked at each other. "Shall we?" Meg asked.  
  
"We'd better, or we're not leaving for a while," Kat said. "Oh, Akkiko?"  
  
"I'm not leaving!!"  
  
"Okay, then, we'll give you two choices: leave of your own free will, or two. . ."  
  
"What's choice two?"  
  
"We knock you senseless, hog-tie you and drag you through all kinds of terrain until we end up in the next dimension we're visiting."  
  
"Aah." Akkiko went into a 'thinking' position. Five seconds later. . . "After careful consideration, I have decided to take the first option."  
  
"Because you don't want us to hog-tie you?" Meg asked.  
  
Akkiko snorted. "No. You could never, in a million years, succeed in hog- tying me, and have even less chance to knock me senseless. I'm going of my own free will because. . ."  
  
"Because?"  
  
"Because there might be some really hot guys in the next world!!" Akkiko went all chibi.  
  
Kat and Meg sweatdropped, and the three girls crept off, leaving Trowa and Wufei battling it out. Looking around, Heero, Duo and Quatre sweatdropped.  
  
"Hey, where'd they go?" Duo said.  
  
"Did they leave without saying good-bye?" Quatre whined. "How rude."  
  
"Psst!" Meg hissed.  
  
"Meg!!" Duo hugged her and gave her a kiss. "You came back!!"  
  
"Yeah, but only for a second. Here's our numbers!" She handed over some slips of paper. "Call us! Bye!" And she was off again.  
  
~~~  
  
(Five hours later, a few miles from the bomb shelter)  
  
Kat's cell phone rang.  
  
"Oh, no." she whined. "I bet it's Bakura." Hitting a button on her cell, she said, "Hello?"  
  
"Hi, Kat. It's Heero."  
  
Kat stood for a minute. "MEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGG!!!"  
  
Akkiko sighed and followed as she followed her two friends off, further away from their new boyfriends.  
  
(A/N: Finished *cries* Oh, that was so much fun, but now, I am finished . . . good-bye, world of Gundam Wing!!)  
  
Up next, the world of. . .  
  
Akkiko: *smacks Kat* Don't give it away!!  
  
Kat: OOWW!! Sorry!  
  
Meg: Fine, Akkiko. YOU introduce the next world we visit!  
  
Akkiko: *smiles* THAT . . . is a secret.  
  
And THAT is the only hint we're giving you! Later days!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Gundam Wing characters, Akkiko, or Meg. I own only myself, Erikson and the plot. 


End file.
